Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, a lot of people are becoming more addicted by social entertainment, but especially women are spending too much time on television amusement because they must easily relaxation their brainstorm from household works. I will deeply discuss on this important concept for our society.

I will disagree this point of view however, it will negatively impact on both ecological system as well as domestic life's and I will give you my overview to relate it and the ideas will definitely support my acceptable thoughts.

In begin, there are plenty of people more given preference picture and video violence disturbance on social media leisure times since it totally illustrate on television program.

If we analyse this fictional feeling in realistic our lives, nevertheless, it had already negative effect on our environmental system for instance, created various crimes, poor behaviour, and guilty on women.

In many countries, they don't allow to violence stunt that is why, our generation must adopt this way on other people like that, Canada, Brazil, and New Zealand.

Second point of views, others people disagree therefore, it conveniently modify our treats for family and friends. Due to bad behaviour, our society system will definitively prey many social crises in our daily routine. In addition, it can easily influence on our both physical health and mental health, especially for women. Our treatment doesn't well for women.

According to my response and everyday experiences, currently, a lot of people easily detrimental habits adopt in their lifestyle because they had already observation fictional behaviour.

To sum up, The virtualisation scene will not well for ours.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing both views on fictional television violence and giving an opinion, meeting the minimum word count. However, the development of ideas is severely limited and often unclear. Phrases like "relaxation their brainstorm from household works" and the abrupt mention of an "ecological system" and "environmental system" show a misunderstanding of the prompt's core themes. The position is stated, but the arguments are largely underdeveloped, disjointed, and rely on sweeping generalisations. Specific examples are missing or nonsensical, such as referencing countries like Canada or Brazil in relation to violence stunts without clear contextual linkage. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, aligning closely with the Band 5 descriptors where ideas are limited and the position lacks clear, logical progression.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response shows an attempt at paragraphing, but the overall organisation lacks a clear logical progression. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as "In begin", "Second point of views", and "To sum up, The virtualisation scene will not well for ours." Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the flow of arguments between sentences. While the writer uses basic transitional markers, they are often misused or mechanically inserted, resulting in a disjointed text that hinders the reader's understanding. This performance reflects the Band 5 descriptor where there is some organisation, but cohesive devices are inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, and overall progression is missing.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often unnatural. The writer makes severe word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as "relaxation their brainstorm", "given preference picture", and "fictional feeling in realistic our lives". There are also frequent issues with word forms, such as using "detrimental habits adopt" and "observation fictional behaviour". These noticeable lexical errors and the limited range of vocabulary frequently cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. The lexical control fails to reach the Band 6 threshold, fitting instead into the Band 4 to 5 range, where a limited range and frequent errors strain understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are almost entirely faulty. There are persistent, major errors in tense usage, word order, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions throughout the response. Examples include "people are becoming more addicted by", "it had already negative effect", and "they don't allow to violence stunt". Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also weak, leading to run-on structures that impede communication. Because frequent errors distort meaning and the majority of sentences contain noticeable structural flaws, the grammar falls squarely into the Band 4 category.

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