Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The debate is oftenly argued that some individuals think that fictional violence portryed on TV screens is a threat entertainment fro the society but also some of the people opposed this idea and they think it encourages violent attitude amoun individuals.

Initially, some National thinks that the individuals who watch violent tv programs such as reality shows, action films are dangerous to mankind the main reason was that they are just a fictional visuals people do watch in their mean time eventhough it never effects on the behaviour on the other hand some people opposed this view and then argued that the tv programs like reality show it effects on young individuals behaviour by this means the lifestyle and the dialogue they perform in the tv shows young individuals adopt them instantly in their lifestyle however they think that this attitude is normalise in the society.

In my stance, Definatey yes television effects due to the mindset among people eventhough people really believes that this behaviour is very normalise in the world so why shouldn't we adopt this specially young generation by this encouragement crimes in the young individuals rapidly increasing in these days. Although, its very harmful to the mankind. for instance i remembered my cousin brother once watch a reality show and they similarly behave the character which performing in that program.

Overall, this behaviour is really dangerous to mankind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to discuss both views on fictional violence and provide an opinion, which aligns with the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the task achievement is hindered significantly by two main factors. First, the essay falls short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 232 words, which incurs a penalty. Second, the ideas are underdeveloped and the arguments are difficult to follow due to poor expression. While the writer mentions both sides—those who think violence is harmless and those who believe it encourages aggressive behavior—the explanation lacks clarity and relevant, well-elaborated support. For example, the personal example regarding a cousin is very brief and simplistic. Furthermore, the writer's position is somewhat muddled in the third paragraph. Consequently, the response sits at Band 4.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are major weak points in this response. The essay is divided into four paragraphs, but the internal structure and progression of ideas are severely disrupted by run-on sentences and a lack of proper punctuation. The entire first paragraph, for instance, consists of a single, highly convoluted sentence containing multiple clauses connected loosely by conjunctions like 'and' or 'but' ('The debate is oftenly argued that...'). Paragraphing is attempted, but the transitions between ideas are abrupt and confusing. While basic cohesive devices such as 'on the other hand' and 'initially' are used, they are often misapplied or fail to establish logical links between the arguments, resulting in an overall lack of clear progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical resource displayed is quite limited and repetitive. The writer makes frequent vocabulary and spelling errors, such as 'portryed', 'oftenly', 'amoun', and 'definatey'. Words are also misused in terms of collocation and word form, such as 'threat entertainment' or 'normalise in the world'. The range of vocabulary is basic and inadequate for discussing a complex topic effectively, often forcing the reader to guess the intended meaning. While some topic-related vocabulary like 'fictional violence', 'behaviour', and 'reality shows' is attempted, the pervasive spelling and word choice inaccuracies strain the reader and restrict the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical range and accuracy are very weak. The response contains almost no error-free sentences. The writer struggles heavily with basic sentence structure, resulting in massive run-on sentences that lack necessary punctuation and full stops. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clause embedding, such as 'National thinks that the individuals who watch... are dangerous' and 'why shouldn't we adopt this specially young generation'. The attempt at complex structures leads to complete structural breakdowns and confusion. Because errors are frequent, systematic, and severely impede comprehension throughout the response, a Band 4.0 is appropriate.

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