Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals feel that imaginary violance displayed on television is harmless content. But some people not have this opinion, they argue that it stimulates violent behaviour. Although fighting scenes in movies and series are unreal, I believe that it convey wrong message which is not good for our younger generation.
It is argue that made-up violence portrayed in cinemas or on television is not harming stuff. This is because usually people know about the reality, they like to watch things for entertainment purposes. They know that most of the fictional violence based stories have no connection with real life. So people don't take it seriously. For example, public use to watch thrillers movies for fun, they don't watch them to educate themselves or to adopt any behaviour.
On the otherside, there is a huge number of people, who believe that it facinates people and it is not good for them. Presently, thrilling content convey in a larger than life way, so it really attracts younger people. It gives them message that it is right to do violations, which is not good in reality. But due to growing age, they adopt violating behaviour. As a result, parents may see aggressive behaviour of their children in almost every walk of life. I believe that although fictional stuff is not harming itself because it is just a man made story, it has bad impact on our young ones.
In conclusion, unreal violence presented on dislplay screens is not dangerous argued by some people, but others not believe in it and they feel that it develop violent behaviour in people. I believe that it has many constraints related to the messages which we are giving to our younger children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on fictional television violence and presenting a clear personal opinion throughout the essay. The writer presents relevant ideas, such as the argument that audiences recognise fiction for entertainment versus the counter-argument that it can stimulate real-world aggression in younger generations. However, the development of these ideas tends to be repetitive and somewhat limited in depth. For instance, the discussion on why people watch thrillers for fun is stated simply without extensive elaboration or sophisticated examples. While a clear position is maintained, the support remains at a basic level, aligning best with Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear four-paragraph structure comprising an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty and mechanical. Phrases such as 'It is argue that', 'On the otherside', and 'In conclusion, unreal violence presented on dislplay screens is not dangerous argued by some people' reveal clumsy transitions and awkward referencing. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, which prevents the essay from achieving a higher band. Overall, the organizational structure is logical enough to earn a Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'stimulates violent behaviour', 'larger than life way', and 'constraints'. However, there are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation throughout the text. Examples include 'imaginary violance' instead of 'imagined violence', 'not harming stuff', 'thrillers movies', 'facinates people', and 'dislplay screens'. Furthermore, word forms are frequently misused, such as 'it convey wrong message' and 'it develop violent behaviour'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling slips occasionally strain the reader, fitting comfortably within the Band 5 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing dependent clauses and conditional structures such as 'Although fighting scenes in movies and series are unreal, I believe that it convey wrong message'. However, control over grammar is inconsistent, and frequent errors occur in subject-verb agreement ('people not have this opinion', 'violence based stories have', 'content convey'), article usage, and verb tense consistency. Many complex structures contain grammatical flaws, such as 'It is argue that' and 'others not believe in it'. While these frequent errors can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, the communicative intent remains clear, supporting a Band 5 score.
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