Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
some people think that fictional violence watched on television is harmless for entertainment for our socities on the other hand various people think that it encourges violent behaviour .personally, in my opinion it totally depends on the type of violence if the violence is about family probles and fights so i really agree with second group of people who thinks that it could be harmfull .
some people think that fictional violence is harmless because they think that it could be a peace of entertainment that hepls them to avoid their stress and keep concentrate on their movie or drama furthermore,the second reason is that they consider it harmless beacause it helps people to recognise how much they hurt people by beating them or abusing their partners or anybody and it helps to reduce the percentage of violence in our socities .
secondly,some people believes that fictional violence is harmfull activity for their families and society also beacuse anybody who use to torcher his family or anyone else he get motivated or feel a little bit relaxe after watching the tv serial because he considerd that the violence is everywhere and every men used to physically abuse their partners or familymember and neihbours thats why some people consider it a harmfull activity
Actually ,i really cosider it a harmfull thing beacuse i have an instance in my own house when my little cousin get frustratted and uncomfortable during watching the television beacause he really saw something about abusing or violence so,from my perspective it is very harmfull especcialy for childrens .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on fictional television violence and providing a personal opinion. The writer establishes a clear stance in the introduction, stating that it depends on the type of violence. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the second paragraph attempts to argue that fictional violence is harmless because it helps people avoid stress and recognize the hurt caused by violence, but these points are under-developed and lack extension. The examples provided, such as the mention of the little cousin in the final paragraph, are somewhat anecdotal and generalized. While the prompt is addressed, the depth of exploration corresponds to a Band 5.0 level where ideas remain somewhat basic and lack rigorous support.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates some basic organization, with paragraphs used to separate introduction, arguments for both sides, and the conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and transitions between paragraphs feel abrupt. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes inappropriately, such as 'secondly,some people believes' and 'Actually ,i really cosider'. Furthermore, referencing and punctuation are poorly managed throughout the text; sentences often run together without proper capitalization or comma splices, such as 'behaviour .personally, in my opinion'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion lacks smooth logical links, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments easily. This places the response firmly at Band 4.5 to 5.0, leaning toward Band 5.0 for attempting a structural layout.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive, which is characteristic of a Band 4.0 or 5.0 response. The student relies heavily on basic words such as 'violence', 'entertainment', 'harmful', and 'people'. There are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'socities' instead of 'societies', 'encourges', 'probles', 'harmfull', 'hepls', 'beacause', 'torcher', 'relaxe', 'cosider', 'frustratted', and 'especcialy'. These errors and the narrow lexical repertoire cause noticeable difficulty and strain for the reader, restricting the score to Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay shows a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of lengthy, run-on simple and complex sentences joined loosely by conjunctions like 'because' and 'and'. There is a complete lack of control over basic punctuation and capitalization, with multiple sentences starting with lowercase letters and lacking terminal punctuation before new clauses begin. Frequent grammatical errors occur, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('every men used to', 'anyone else he get motivated'), incorrect verb forms ('he considerd', 'saw something'), and spelling-related confusion. Because errors are frequent, systematic, and disrupt the readability of the text, the performance aligns with Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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