Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

it is argued by some that fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment and other disagree on that because many people have different mind sent and different approach to analyse the portrayed.

fictional violance portrayed is the negative consequences of this growing trend in todays era in our country because in india the population are more than 1.5 billion. there are many sideeffect like young people wached that fictional violance and thinking to apply in our daily life. this phenomina is very harmful for our society. like in my surrounding many people enfluence by watching that type of movies or video by there smartphone devices. to control that violance we have to work on that problem. we have to teach our young generation to take education and do not apply that fictional voilance to their daily life.

many people disagreed to this statment because they want to see that fictional violence portrayed for their entertainment purposes only. the number of population who disagree with this statment are likely to be more educated and very mature. many numbers of viewers want to seeviolance in entertainment because they want this type of movies. A prime example of fictional violance are happen in my home town approx 5 friends shaw violance movie and enfluence all their friends to do that violance in the society. so thats very concern subject to the society.

in conclusion i beleave that this is negatively affecting our relation ship with peoples if we are motivating to see that type of fictional violance entertainment. apart from that we need to educate our young generation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views on fictional television violence and offering a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions the massive population in India and the influence of smartphones, these points are presented as isolated statements rather than fully extended arguments. The position is expressed, particularly in the conclusion where the author states a belief that fictional violence negatively affects relationships, but the reasoning throughout the body paragraphs lacks clarity and depth. To reach higher bands, the writer must ensure that all parts of the task are supported by well-developed explanations and relevant, coherent examples rather than vague assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the essay into paragraphs, and an overall progression is discernible as the writer moves from introduction to body points and a conclusion. Nevertheless, the organisation is hindered by inadequate and repetitive use of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, such as moving directly from the mention of population statistics to side effects without logical connectors. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'this phenomena' and 'to control that violance we have to work on that problem', where pronouns and demonstratives do not clearly link back to precise antecedents. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion requires significant improvement to guide the reader smoothly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, demonstrating basic word choices such as 'entertainment', 'population', and 'movies'. There are noticeable errors in word form, spelling, and word choice throughout the text, including 'mind sent' instead of 'mindset', 'violance' instead of 'violence', 'wached' instead of 'watched', 'enfluence' instead of 'influence', and 'statment' instead of 'statement'. These lexical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the range of vocabulary. To progress, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire, accurately deploy less common items, and pay closer attention to standard spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors. Attempts at complex or multi-clause sentences often result in faulty structures, such as in the opening sentence: 'it is argued by some that fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment and other disagree on that because many people have different mind sent...'. Frequent errors are present in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles, including 'the population are more than', 'a prime example of fictional violance are happen', and '5 friends shaw violance movie'. These frequent grammatical inaccuracies can cause strain and difficulty for the reader. Greater control over basic structures and increased accuracy in complex formations are essential for improvement.

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