Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
keeping in view the nature of issue regarding fictional voilence portrayed on telve vision i would like to discuss different aspects violene on television insted of advocating one point of view.In today world we will find thousand of people which are diretly effected by movies and videos.Either in postive or nagitive way .We can not ignore one side of violence on television altogehter.
We live in multi cultural world.The diversity in cultures is so amazing that thingss like olod movies dramas brutal and violence we can watch on television if we want to change their meaning .we can look anthing to uderstand this difference.
our thinking about violence fictional violence portrayed on television is based on personal ecperience,knowledge and personality type.All human beings have diffrent mental paradox towards diffrent thingd and issues.Violence on telvision is a good thing if we make understand it is not in real and we can not do such things in real life .it is just videos we watch for entertainment and spent our time
Human psychology is yet to be properly discovered by science.We have illusion,mental block ,fear in violence sences.Thinking about violence sences is far from reality for majority of people.Human beings imagines things in their own prospective .Reality might be different from fascination
It is understandable that above mention arguments is not enogh to conclude this extemly important issue properly and how i would emphasize the need to amend and change in fitional violence portrayed on television acording to present need of the time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally and tangentially. While the writer touches upon the general theme of fictional violence on television, the prompt asks to discuss both views and provide a personal opinion. The student attempts an introduction and a conclusion mentioning the debate, but the body paragraphs fail to properly develop the two opposing arguments regarding whether media violence causes real-world aggression or serves as harmless entertainment. Ideas are extremely limited, repetitive, and under-developed, often shifting into vague statements about human psychology and personal experiences without clear support or a well-defined personal stance.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, leading to a weak overall structure. Although paragraph breaks are present, the progression of thought is difficult to follow, and ideas jump abruptly between unrelated concepts, such as cultural diversity and human psychology. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, making transitions between sentences and paragraphs awkward and mechanical. Referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in phrases like thingss like olod movies dramas brutal and violence we can watch on television if we want to change their meaning, which disrupt the logical flow of the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing a limited range of words that are frequently constrained by errors. There are numerous spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as voilence instead of violence, telve vision instead of television, insted instead of instead, and ecperience instead of experience. Word choices are often imprecise or awkward, for instance using mental paradox or violence sences, which places a heavy strain on the reader and occasionally impedes smooth communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, and grammatical errors are frequent, often distorting the intended meaning. There are persistent issues with basic sentence boundaries, capitalization, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement, such as in thousand of people which are diretly effected or above mention arguments is not enogh. Attempts at complex sentences result in faulty structures and fragmented clauses. Punctuation is largely neglected, with missing spaces after periods and commas, further hindering readability.
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