Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In today's world, some people believe that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment, while others argue that it encourages violent behaviour. In my opinion, the fictional violence portrayed on television promotes violent behaviour which can harm the society.
On the one hand, the violent characters shown on television can be harmless entertainment if not considered into reality. If a person watch this entertainment only for enjoyment purpose, it does not harm the society. Thus, this kind of entertainment may be harmless. Additionally, this allows individuals to have some refreshment in their lives. This is because people often experience intense pressure during work hours, so this type of entertainment helps them to overcome the stress.
On the other hand, critics argue that the fictional violence portrayed on television encourages violent behaviour as it may encourage people to develop such a kind of behaviour. If people watch characters with aggressive behaviour, they often get influenced to develop this unusual skill which can lead to conflict or a fight with other people in the society. For example, if a character in a show kills people for his benefit, individuals may kill others in reality as well. Furthermore, this kind of character can harm young generations. Some children often get inspired from different kinds of shows on television and this character can encourage them to develop aggressive behaviour.
In conclusion, the fictional violence portrayed on television can be harmless if seen for enjoyment purpose and to overcome the stress. However, it encourages people and children to develop violent behaviour, which even leads to a fight in the society. I believe that this kind of character encourages violent behaviour.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on fictional television violence and providing a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the argument regarding stress relief is somewhat repetitive, stating that it 'allows individuals to have some refreshment' and later that it 'helps them to overcome the stress.' Similarly, the examples provided, such as characters killing people for benefits, are rather simplistic and lack deeper extension. To reach the next level, the ideas need to be more thoroughly elaborated with more sophisticated supporting arguments and fully developed insights.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each body paragraph dedicated to a distinct viewpoint. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and repetitive. The writer relies heavily on formulaic transition markers such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Furthermore.' Referencing is also occasionally imprecise, such as when pronouns like 'this kind of character' are used broadly without a completely clear antecedent. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of more sophisticated and less intrusive cohesive devices, ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the main arguments, but it remains somewhat limited and repetitive. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'fictional violence,' 'refreshment,' and 'aggressive behaviour,' but these attempts are sometimes accompanied by unnatural collocations or word choices, such as 'develop this unusual skill' instead of a natural phrase like 'adopt aggressive tendencies.' There are also minor lexical lapses, such as using 'enjoyment purpose' instead of 'enjoyment purposes.' Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary errors do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to incorporate a wider, more precise range of vocabulary and idioms with better control over collocations and style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses ('If a person watch this...') and relative clauses ('...which can harm the society'). There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Noticeable errors include subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'If a person watch' instead of 'watches', and article usage errors, such as 'harm the society' instead of 'harm society'. There are also minor prepositional inaccuracies within grammatical patterns. While complex structures are attempted, they occasionally contain faults. To progress, the writer should aim for a higher frequency of error-free complex sentences and refine their control over grammatical agreements and articles.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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