Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there has been rapid growth in anime industrd, which has sparked an intense debate regarding fictional violence. Advocates of this view primairly argu that non-real violence portrayed on television is harmeless entertainment. Conversely, critics maintain that this tends to aggresion in bhaviour.

Advocates of this view primarily argue that non-real fight are entertaining and this is save for pupils. This kind of things reduce stress because one of principal reasons for this is connection with fictional actore. Also this violence are unreal ,so instead think this real they already new they things never exist. Aclear example of dragon ball z, which is agresive anime but every one knows that this is not real.

Conversely, critics maintain display violence anime will tends to precipitate adverse psychological outcome and this encourage violent among childrens. So this this should ban. This thing are dengurs for children because a major factor contributing to this issue is unrealness and those charecter can not die, so childre start think they also can not die. this will tends to horrable future to pupiles. A clear example of this we can see anime, where main actore can jump from huge bulding because of this several children jumped from home to fly.

Despite the obvios benefit of fictional fight raimains a concern, so goverment should take care of this thing. the goverment should fix age limite on aggresive anime. There is a strong likelihood that such intervention would alleviate the burden.

In the final analysis, while sevelar individuals consider that violence anime are entertaining and harmless. However, there are those people also who believe that this things will tends to horrabil future to childern. While it is true that anime , it is e

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on fictional television violence and providing an opinion, which places it in the mid-range of achievement. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding stress reduction lacks sufficient elaboration and relies on vague phrasing ("connection with fictional actore"). Similarly, the counter-argument about children imitating characters is introduced with examples like Dragon Ball Z, but the reasoning remains underdeveloped and somewhat tangential. The position is stated, but the ideas are not fully extended with precise support, resulting in a partial treatment of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic structure with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both views, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and the logical flow is frequently disrupted by mechanical or repetitive use of cohesive devices, such as repeatedly starting sentences with "This kind of things" or "This thing are." Referencing is also unclear in places, making it difficult to trace the connections between ideas. While paragraphing is attempted, the overall organizational framework fails to establish a smooth and coherent progression throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts some less common items such as "adverse psychological outcome" and "intervention," but these are accompanied by frequent spelling and word-choice errors, such as "industrd," "harmeless," "aggresion," "bhaviour," "unrealness," and "charecter." These noticeable errors and inaccuracies in word formation often cause strain and difficulty for the reader, though the core meaning of the arguments usually remains decipherable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including subject-verb agreement issues ("this violence are unreal"), article omissions or misuse ("a clear example of dragon ball z"), and incorrect verb forms ("children start think they also can not die"). These persistent errors and faulty structures frequently cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the formation of reliable error-free sentences.

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