Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To begin with , there are several reasons television is harmless entertainment is important in our daily life . The main reasons is that encourages violent behaviour can have dircet effect on people and society . Many people face this issue harmless entertainment in their daily lives, it can influence their lifestyle in different way. For example it may affect Education , newspaper , Led , Internet or relationship . In addition , young people and families can also influenced by this situation . The important point is that violence the television and not intersted the television television is bad nes and boring drama not intersted watching movies with my friend but not enjoy boring day . In my opinion television better then mobile phone use smart phone is the fast process all fucation in mobile phones , butt television other people croweded not harmless entertainment . The important point is that violent behaviour can have both negative and positive effects . It mainly depends on how people use it and how they deal with the situation .

Moreover there are some possible way to improve the situation . The government ,schools , business and other office work the television is important guidance . The television can also play an important role by providing guidance and support .

In conlcusion , television violent behaviour is that important issue that should not be ignored . The television negative effects can be reduced with the positive effects and the situation ay to improved . In my opinion television better more then smarat phones . It is a quicly reasearch and the downolad apps . Furthermore , all these problem in to the solves .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to engage with the topic of fictional violence on television and personal opinions regarding smartphones, but it only responds to the task minimally and tangentially. While the prompt asks to discuss both views on television violence and give an opinion, the student's ideas are largely disconnected, repetitive, and shift abruptly into unrelated commentary about mobile phones and downloading apps, such as in the statement 'television better then mobile phone use smart phone is the fast process all fucation in mobile phones'. The position is not clearly maintained throughout the text, and the arguments presented are extremely limited and under-developed, relying on disjointed fragments rather than supported reasoning. To reach a higher level, the writer must ensure all parts of the prompt are directly addressed with coherent, fully developed arguments that stay strictly relevant to the given topic without introducing extraneous subjects.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged coherently across the response. Although basic cohesive devices and transition markers such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion' are attempted, they fail to establish a clear overall progression or logical flow. Paragraphing is used physically, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks logical sequencing. For instance, sentences like 'Many people face this issue harmless entertainment in their daily lives, it can influence their lifestyle in different way' jump erratically between disconnected concepts. Furthermore, referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of thought. To improve cohesion, the writer needs to organise ideas into clear thematic paragraphs, ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one, and use cohesive devices accurately to link related points rather than mechanical phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic, highly repetitive, and restricted in range, which heavily strains the reader's understanding. The student frequently misuses words and phrases, such as 'fucation' instead of functions, 'dircet' instead of direct, and 'nes' instead of news, alongside severe collocation errors like 'television is bad nes' and 'quicly reasearch'. There is an over-reliance on a few common words such as 'television', 'entertainment', and 'important', repeating them awkwardly throughout the text without precise control. Spelling and word-form errors are frequent and impede communication. To move up to the next band, the student must expand their lexical repertoire, learn accurate word forms, pay close attention to standard collocations, and reduce spelling mistakes by thoroughly reviewing and practising common vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of faulty attempts at complex structures and broken simple sentences. Errors are frequent and often distort the intended meaning, creating severe strain for the reader. There are persistent problems with basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and incorrect prepositions inside grammatical patterns, as seen in constructions like 'the main reasons is that encourages violent behaviour can have dircet effect' and 'all these problem in to the solves'. Punctuation is also poorly handled, with spaces incorrectly placed before commas and periods. To achieve a higher score, the writer must work on constructing grammatically sound simple and compound sentences before attempting complex clauses, paying close attention to verbs, tense consistency, and basic sentence architecture to reduce the density of errors.

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