Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing contention on whether the scripted violence illustrated on television is harmful or not. Some people argue that the fictional violence broadcasted in television can affect the behaviour of how people act, while the remaining group emphasize that, it is for entertainment and cannot influence people's behaviour. This essay will discuss both view with relevant examples.

Advocate for fictional violence as entertainment state that, the act of violence presented in the TV shows are scripted and is performed for the purpose of entertainment. They argue that a disclaimer is provided prior the show, mentioning the show involves violent scenes that are fake. Additionally, they believe that, if it promotes violence than it would never have been allowed to air on television. For instance, almost everyone in the world have watched a movie or other shows involving intense scenes and brutality, however researchs have claimed that almost none of the consumer exhibit ill behaviour towards other after the end of the show.

Regarding those who condemns fictional violence emphasize that, it changes the behaviour especially of children and mentally challenged individuals. They mention that children are in the age where they follow what they see and consume, ensuring that they follow the severity sjown by the movies. For instance, children watching shows with fighting scenes, assault and savagery tend to perform that same activity in their daily life. In addition, there have been many scenarios of teenagers attacking their own school carrying guns.

In conclusion, I believe that fictional violence portrayed on televison are essential for the show to be entertaining, while it does harm a certain group of people with mental disorder and developing age. Thus, a balanced approach should be adapted ensuring those scenes are kept away from those people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and give a clear personal position: fictional violence can entertain, but may affect children and people with mental health difficulties. The examples about disclaimers, children imitating screen violence, and school attacks are relevant to the discussion. The response also shows some development beyond simply listing the two sides. However, the entertainment argument relies on a broad claim that research finds almost no viewers behave badly, without identifying or explaining that evidence. The opposing view is more clearly illustrated, but the link between television and real-world attacks is asserted rather than demonstrated. Your conclusion introduces a balanced approach, though it could explain more precisely what safeguards you support. More even development and qualification of these claims would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposting such as “Additionally,” “Regarding,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the stages of the argument. Each body paragraph stays focused on its respective position. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and several sentences repeat similar patterns, particularly “They argue” and “They mention.” The reference in “those people” at the end is also broad, since it could refer to children, people with mental disorders, or both. To improve cohesion, vary how you connect claims and examples, and use more precise references that make the relationship between each point and its evidence explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “scripted violence,” “disclaimer,” “brutality,” “assault,” and “savagery.” These choices make the subject clear, and some less common expressions show an effort to write in an appropriately formal style. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “broadcasted in television,” “the severity shown,” and “ill behaviour.” There are also spelling errors, including “researchs,” “sjown,” and “televison,” which reduce accuracy. Some phrasing is unnecessarily elaborate, as in “the behaviour of how people act.” Aim for natural, precise collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your vocabulary more controlled without requiring more complicated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “that,” and “ensuring,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some sentence structures are controlled, such as the contrast between the two views in the introduction. However, errors in agreement, articles, and clause construction recur. For example, “the act of violence … are scripted” has a singular subject with a plural verb, while “almost everyone … have watched” has the reverse agreement problem. In “Advocate … state,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “a disclaimer is provided prior the show” is missing a grammatical element. Review subject–verb agreement and article/preposition patterns, then proofread each sentence for a complete, correctly formed clause.

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