Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The Peoples who think the ficstional violence portrayed on television is harmless may be they think this is just an imaginary violence and they dont take it serious because they its just a entertainment but some kind of people in this people they think what they watch in television about the violence they can do in their real life and they do these mistakes because these type of mindset may be think its a plus point of ours but its because the fictional violence is just an entertainment but they can not understand that.

In my way the fictional violence is just an entertainment if any people take this serious and think this is he doing in there real life in my veiw this person is totally mental because how they can be think they can do this in there real life and this is the only reason many people think the fictional violence is encourage violent behaviour.

And also i want to about my real experience in this that my one freind his name is Sakib he has watching the action movies and mysterious and murdered movies and he thinks he can do this in their real life and if he follows the pattern of movies than he cannot caught by the cops and in this veiw his mindset is beyond the other reality of world and he is only think that can he do anything what he watch in movies often I suggest him a better movies and podcast about this mentality but he can not resist then this .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to discuss both views regarding fictional television violence and offers a personal opinion, touching upon the prompt requirements. However, the development of ideas is severely hindered by repetitive phrasing, disjointed argumentation, and a lack of clear elaboration. The student attempts to provide a reason and a personal example involving a friend named Sakib, but the relevance and progression of these points are obscured by confused expression. The position is stated, but the ideas remain underdeveloped and unclear in places, aligning the response with the Band 4 descriptor where the task is addressed only minimally or tangentially due to expression barriers.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of the essay is highly problematic. The response is divided into only three overly long and run-on paragraphs that lack internal logical progression. Sentences such as 'The Peoples who think the ficstional violence portrayed on television is harmless may be they think this is just an imaginary violence...' string multiple clauses together without proper punctuation or conjunctions, creating a confusing stream of consciousness. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, referencing is unclear (e.g., erratic shifts between 'they', 'this', and 'people'), and paragraphing does not adequately separate the introduction, opposing views, and personal stance. This reflects Band 4 characteristics where information and ideas are not arranged coherently.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Vocabulary is very basic, repetitive, and plagued by numerous spelling and word-form errors. Examples include 'Peoples' instead of people, 'ficstional' instead of fictional, 'serious' instead of seriously, 'entertainment' used incorrectly as a count noun ('a entertainment'), and 'veiw' instead of view. Phrases like 'totally mental' demonstrate an inappropriate, informal register for an academic essay. There is no control over less common vocabulary or collocation, and the frequent lexical errors frequently strain the reader's comprehension, placing the response firmly at Band 4.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting almost entirely of poorly constructed, overly long compound-complex sentences that lack grammatical boundaries. There are persistent errors in subject-verb agreement ('the peoples who think... may be they think'), verb tenses ('he has watching'), missing articles, and faulty relative clauses ('that can he do anything what he watch'). Punctuation is virtually nonexistent, with entire paragraphs running on a single comma or period. These frequent, systemic errors heavily distort meaning and cause significant difficulty for the reader, corresponding to a Band 4 score.

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