Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, some people think that fictional violence portrayed on telivision is harmless entertainment has a hot topic all over the world. In my opinion watching to much fictional violence impact in children.
The main reason is that watching a tv can give realex to some people. Watching a film,movies in tv has a entertaiment also. We can ues a television in a right way it didnot harm of our life. We can enjoy our free time to listine music or watching on tv. some time we also can enjoy to watch saome horroies move also. when all people gathering we can enjoy the fictional voilence movie. For example , action films often include fighting, dengerous activities and excting sceans to entertain audiences. people may relax and forget about their daily problem.
On the other hand, violence on telivision may influence peoples behivour. children can copy fighting scence and think that violence is an acceptable way to solve problem.Watching a television in our daily life it effect our eyes also. children can learn so many thing in tv it impact children life. watching voilent content regulary may also make people less sensetive to other suffering. Watching voiolence can encourage people copy their behivour aslo. It impact their daily life.
In conclusion, watching a fictional vilence in television is that
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You address both views: the first body paragraph presents television as entertainment and a way to relax, while the second explains that children may copy fighting and that repeated exposure can reduce sensitivity to others’ suffering. Your opinion is briefly stated in the opening, but it focuses on the effect on children rather than clearly weighing both sides, and the final sentence is unfinished, so the conclusion does not give a complete answer. The examples about action films and children copying scenes are relevant, but the supporting explanations remain general. The response is also below the required 250 words, which limits the space available to develop your reasons. To strengthen the response, state your position clearly and consistently, explain each view in more depth, and complete the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and an attempted conclusion. The transition “On the other hand” helps signal the change from the benefits of fictional violence to its possible harms. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first paragraph moves from relaxation to music, horror films, gatherings, and action scenes without clearly linking each point to the main argument. Some ideas are repeated, particularly the claim that violence can affect or influence behaviour. The unfinished conclusion also prevents the essay from ending coherently. Use clearer topic sentences, group related points together, and connect examples directly to the claim they support.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “action films,” “fighting scene,” and “less sensitive to other suffering.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both entertainment and possible effects on viewers. However, the range is basic and several words or phrases are repeated, such as “watching,” “children,” and “impact.” Frequent spelling errors—including “telivision,” “entertaiment,” and “behivour”—make the writing less clear and reduce the accuracy of your vocabulary. Some combinations are also unnatural, for example “give realex” and “enjoy our free time to listine music.” Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “On the other hand, violence on television may influence peoples behaviour” and a sentence explaining that children may copy fighting scenes. However, sentence structures are limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “watching to much fictional violence impact in children” lacks accurate verb agreement and a clear grammatical pattern, while “Watching a television in our daily life it effect our eyes” has an unclear subject and verb structure. The final sentence is incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then combine related ideas with clauses such as “because” or “which.” Check articles, plurals, and punctuation when proofreading.
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