Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In today's globalized world, movies and TV shows play a salient role in entertainment. While some believe that violence portrayed on television is harmless, and its sole purpose is to engage and entertain the audience. On the other hand, some critics believe that these movies and TV shows promote violence. Despite the fact that fictional violence is lamentable for many people including children's, I concur with the notion that fighting and violence is essential in movies to engage and attract larger audience.

Cinema has long been driving force behind entertainment, creativity and productivity. Directors and producers spend and invest substantial amounts of money to attract people to their shows and movies. Therefore, in many movies cruelty, bloodshed and brutality is imperative for a movie to be a success at box office, because that is what many people love to watch. Furthermore, movies with excessive violence set a age restriction so kids below a certain age could not watch sensitive content. For Instance, John Wick a movie with extreme bloodshed was R-rated, which means it was allowed for adults only.

Proponents of the other view argue that extreme violence and ferocity tends to nurture aggression in many people. From a scientific perspective, people who watch alot of crime and action movies tend to channel their cognitive thinking in a negative way, which could exacerbate mental condition of certain people. For Instance, many children's who are continuously exposed to violence imitate aggresive behaviour, potentially bullying and fighting with their classmates.

In a nutshell, while both viewpoints have their own merits, I firmly believe that fiction is harmless to a larger audience. However, parents and teachers should impose strict regulation for children's not consuming R-rated content.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear position: you accept that fictional violence can be harmless for most viewers, while supporting age restrictions. The examples of *John Wick* and children imitating aggression make the discussion relevant. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The case for violence as entertainment focuses mainly on commercial success and audience demand, while the opposing view is presented largely as a general claim about aggression, with limited explanation of how viewing might lead to behaviour. Your conclusion also says fiction is harmless to a “larger audience,” but does not fully reconcile this with the risks you describe. Develop the reasoning behind each view and qualify your opinion more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The progression from entertainment value to possible harm is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In a nutshell” help guide the reader. At times, however, linking feels mechanical, and some references are not fully clear. For example, “that is what many people love to watch” follows a sentence about violence and box-office success, but the connection between audience preference and success could be explained more explicitly. The introduction’s opening contrast is also awkwardly punctuated. Use transitions that show the precise relationship between claims, and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “bloodshed,” “brutality,” “age restriction,” “aggression,” and “cognitive thinking.” Some less common choices add variety, but several are inaccurate or unnatural in context: “lamentable” does not clearly express the intended concern, “nurture aggression” is an awkward collocation, and “cognitive thinking” is redundant. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “alot” and “aggresive,” which reduce precision. These do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument, but more natural collocations and careful proofreading would make the language more controlled. Prefer precise terms such as “may encourage aggressive behaviour” and avoid using elevated vocabulary where a simpler expression is more accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession with “Despite the fact that” and a conditional clause beginning “which could exacerbate.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. The opening contains a sentence fragment: “While some believe …” is not joined to a complete main clause. There are also agreement and article errors in “violence is essential,” “a age restriction,” and “many children's,” as well as awkward clause construction in “so kids below a certain age could not watch.” These are examples of the occasional errors that keep the writing from showing more consistent control. Check sentence completeness, singular/plural agreement, and articles, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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