Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The easy topic is related to fictional violence portrayed on television. we upgraded now tv or old thing now the best replacement is mobile phone ,laptops and computers occur. television also ubiquitous and there is such drama, films or serial played which is very harm full for children's as well families. an great example of this we show in over society many of children's fight like WWE. this WWE serial highly compelling a lot of educated peoples in society. that government need to hold on this type of effected films to broadcast on television.

we are agree with best educated films daruma like which they give us information about best new upgraded knowledge. there is such kind of best tauter films and cartoons and example of rah e HAQ is out standing educated serial for all youth people.

we are disagree with some of time wasting films which broadcast on television. many of population waste there time on it . an example like TIK TOK reels scrolling . we need try to reduce over wastage of time on this type of un helpful reels. we need secure over area and gain over best new informative knowledge about world.

with my own best opinion, smart phone make a lot of changes in mostly people like they were ill a lot due to low physical activity, and more due seeing bad reels on mobile phones. and this television make violence in human behavior. state need to proper checking on it and reduce fictional violence portrayed from internet , television as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises the topic and gives a general view that televised and online violence can negatively affect behaviour, especially among children. It also mentions educational programmes as a contrast. However, the task asks you to discuss both views: that fictional violence is harmless entertainment and that it encourages violent behaviour. The first view is not explained, and the second is asserted rather than developed. For example, the reference to children fighting like WWE could support an argument, but the link between watching the programme and copying violence needs explanation or evidence. Your opinion is present in the final paragraph, but it is mixed with points about physical activity and time spent on phones, which do not directly answer the question. Develop each side with relevant reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, moving from television content to educational programmes, time-wasting media, and a final opinion. Some links are also signalled with phrases such as “an great example” and “with my own best opinion.” However, the progression is difficult to follow because several paragraphs introduce ideas that are not clearly connected to the question, such as TikTok scrolling and low physical activity. Connections between claims are often missing, so the reader must infer how the examples support the argument. The repeated use of “we need” and “there is” also makes the development feel repetitive. Use a clear paragraph for each view, followed by your opinion, and connect each example explicitly to its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “broadcast,” “violent behaviour,” and “informative knowledge,” and you attempt less common expressions such as “highly compelling.” However, vocabulary is often basic, repetitive, or inaccurately chosen, which can make the intended meaning hard to identify. Phrases such as “best tauter films,” “over society,” and “best new upgraded knowledge” are unclear, while “harm full” and “out standing” show spelling and word-form problems. “Educated films” also does not clearly express the idea of educational programmes. Aim for precise, natural collocations and avoid repeating broad phrases such as “best” and “we need.” Choosing familiar, accurate wording will make your argument clearer than using ambitious but unsuitable expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and gives a recognisable overall message, but sentence structures are often incomplete or inaccurately formed. For example, “television also ubiquitous and there is such drama, films or serial played” lacks a clear verb structure, and “that government need to hold on this type” has problems with sentence construction and agreement. Articles, plurals, and verb forms are also inconsistent, as in “an great example” and “many of children's fight.” Punctuation and capitalisation are frequently uncontrolled, including sentence openings such as “we upgraded now tv.” These errors often make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses using patterns such as “Some viewers argue that…, whereas others believe that…”. Check each sentence for a subject, verb, and clear punctuation.

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