Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people believe that fictional violence displayed on screen is harmless entertainment while others think that it motivates violent attitude.In my opinion, i totally agree that fictional voilence can create some issues in the socitey, it could normalise the volience as well as could have the bad effect on childrens.

First and foremost, Violence should not be appreciated even if it is fictional, because by showing abusive and violent entertainment it can encourages and normalise voilence. In addition to, this kind of violence entertainment can have bad impact on childrens mind as a result they can adopt or attract bad things from screens. For example, BBC reported that ttwo brothers were playing game on computer and elder's one cut his little brother throat after watching and inspiring same act from screen.

Next, to some extent fictional violence potrayed on screens have some benefits like people produce action films and dramas, by doing that way they shows their creativity and it is also help people to get aware of outer world. for example childrns plays roblox and parents saw some suspicious activities on tv news so they give awareness to their kids regarding outer world saftey and security.

In conclusion, fictional violence potrayed on television is somehow harmless but we should put some limint on it so that society and our childrens can be safe.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and state a position: you argue that fictional violence can have harmful effects, while acknowledging possible benefits such as creativity and awareness. However, the discussion is only partial and the ideas remain under-developed. The example about the brothers is specific, but it is presented as a reported incident without explaining how it supports a general link between screen violence and behaviour. The benefits paragraph also shifts from fictional violence to children’s safety awareness, so its connection to the opposing view is unclear. Your conclusion says it is “somehow harmless” but also calls for limits, leaving your final position less clear than the introduction. The response is 26 words below the required minimum; develop both sides further and make your opinion consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting different views, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Next,” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are linked mechanically or the relationship is unclear. For instance, “In addition to” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence, and the example about Roblox and parents’ awareness does not clearly illustrate the benefits of fictional violence. The conclusion also introduces a position that conflicts with the stronger opposition to violence in the introduction. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and ensure the final paragraph follows logically from the discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “normalise,” “abusive,” “creativity,” and “awareness,” so the reader can understand the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the response less clear. Examples include “violent attitude,” “violence entertainment,” and “bad impact on childrens mind”; these expressions are not natural or precise. Misspellings such as “voilence,” “socitey,” “potrayed,” and “saftey” are also noticeable. Aim to use a wider set of accurate phrases for discussing effects and evidence, and proofread spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish between entertainment, influence, and actual behaviour.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a reason-and-result structure in “because … it can encourages and normalise” and a sentence beginning “For example.” However, complex attempts are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. In “it can encourages,” the verb should remain in its base form after “can”; “they shows” also has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Other problems include “it is also help,” missing or incorrect articles, and sentence-boundary punctuation, particularly where the introduction runs directly into “In my opinion.” Try building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and examples. Check verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation carefully.

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