Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals argued that the crime scene displayed for entertainment purpose is not responsible for any violence while others disagree and they believes that it infulence people for violent behaviour. Television is only for entertainment it should not for influencing crime in real-life i believe that people learn from that and misbehave for small mistakes happen by others. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in upcoming paragraph.

On the one hand, Who believe that entertainment is harmless and it should not responsible for increasing crime rates in world. The entertainment generated on fake story and it was just for fun not a real life lesson to learn from that. Moreover the crime they shows on television is just to be aware themselves and protect to occuring from others. The television should also watch by children but with their parents.

While, fictional violence portrayed on television most of young people learn the way of doing crime and they think they will be never catched by police or other people. The violence they make in real life because they are never learn moral values and kindness from television or other. Nowadays people mostly influenced by entertainment videoes they watch because they feel this like it is the real life and not a small mistake can be tolerated. Furthermore, they more tend to do violence. the violence become normal in such society where they watch more crime series. The government should make some rules and regulation for displaying offensive programs. For example, Under 18 age people should not able to watch any type of crime series.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the offense become normal is just cause of showing in entertainment and it should be banned to stop society becoming violent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear opinion, especially in the conclusion that fictional violence can make offending seem normal. The response also offers relevant points: fictional stories are not real-life lessons, while young viewers may imitate what they see. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The harmless-entertainment side is brief, and the point that crime programmes can help viewers protect themselves is not explained or supported with an example. The argument about young people copying violence is repeated in several forms rather than extended with a specific reason or illustration. Develop each view with a clear explanation and a relevant example, then make your position consistent: the suggestion to restrict viewing for under-18s is more measured than the conclusion that such content should be banned outright.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “While” begins the opposing-view paragraph without a complete contrastive structure, and “Moreover” introduces a point about awareness that is not clearly connected to the claim that entertainment is harmless. The introduction also announces that the discussion will follow, rather than establishing a precise line of argument. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, connect explanations directly to that claim, and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “moral values,” and “crime rates,” so the topic is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning harder to follow. Examples include “crime scene displayed for entertainment purpose,” “the entertainment generated on fake story,” and “the offense become normal.” There are also spelling errors such as “infulence,” “catched,” and “videoes.” Aim for precise collocations and consistent word forms, such as “violence depicted in fictional programmes,” “based on an invented story,” and “offending may become normalised.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more natural phrases would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “while,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur frequently and can make some sentences difficult to interpret. For instance, “they believes” should be “they believe,” and “they will be never catched” needs a correct passive form, such as “they will never be caught.” The opening also joins several ideas with weak punctuation, while “The television should also watch by children” is missing a suitable passive construction. Practise building accurate sentences before adding complexity: check subject–verb agreement, use complete clauses, and review passive forms and articles. Clearer punctuation would also help separate your ideas.

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