Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Impact of fictional violent shows o general public

A small amount of individuals argue that fictional violence shown online as a content is unalarming and doesn't effects to people while others counter it by raising awareness of real crimes and their common reconciled inspiration taken from online shows i believe both of them must be approached with balanced and mature perspective in accordance to maintain action and overall movie rating

In modern TV industry the actional subjects of a movie containing highly flagged scenes in uncut format are raising at daily basis and some people find it completely normal that viewers are well aware of the scene and have independent critical thoughts about it which reflects that it isn't just a general scene but a huge dopamine of watching a highly sensitive content these people have strong thoughts about credibility and rules applied to make scenes and before publishing material

while on the other hand a very large group reflects that this has a strong involvement in real world crimes and giving ordinary people a option to do the violent activities in real life the counter common opinions include minor viewers and their limited thinking and poor developed mental ability to understand the scene and some isolated individuals dealing with personal problems watching a violent content normally can lead him to take extreme steps ultra negative for themselves and others at mean time

I strongly believe that both approaches have strong vital sides and logical aspects of television content with some scenes that may lead us to negative outcomes to deal with this a common contrast of filtering the minimum age and requirements system which can be done by concerned authorities specially for A graded movies such movies must be for adults only by the term adults i clearly call people over 21 because at this point majority of people are developed and have strong critical points Moreover to deal with individuals with isolation and personal social problems we can raise awareness so that such people can share feelings and open up with generals

Consequently neither approaches can be executed in fact a balanced perception to maintain and ensure age requirement and raised awareness can benefit the public and lead to positive circumstances

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a position: the first body paragraph explains why some viewers see fictional violence as harmless, the next describes possible effects on vulnerable viewers, and your opinion supports a balanced approach. The suggestions about age restrictions and raising awareness are relevant and provide a practical response. However, the discussion is uneven: the harmless-entertainment view is difficult to follow and is not supported with a clear example, while the risk to minors and people experiencing personal problems is more developed. Your position that both sides have valid points is present, but phrases such as “balanced and mature perspective” do not fully explain when or why fictional violence might influence behaviour. Develop each view with a specific example and make your reasoning more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an overall structure, moving from an introduction to the two views, then your opinion and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish these sections, and signposts such as “while on the other hand” and “Consequently” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear because several ideas are packed into long sentences, and links between claims are sometimes mechanical or imprecise. For example, the paragraph about real-world crimes shifts from ordinary viewers to minors and then to people with personal problems without clearly showing how these points connect. The conclusion repeats the idea of balance rather than drawing together the main reasons. Use shorter, focused paragraphs and clearer links between each claim and its explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “real world crimes,” “age requirement,” and “raise awareness.” There are also efforts to use less common expressions, but many choices are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the meaning hard to understand. Examples include “a huge dopamine of watching,” “highly flagged scenes,” “common reconciled inspiration,” and “strong critical points.” Some phrases also repeat broad terms such as “content,” “people,” and “approaches” instead of naming the idea precisely. Aim for natural collocations and check whether a word expresses your intended meaning; for instance, describe viewers as “desensitised” or “entertained,” rather than using “dopamine” in this way. More precise vocabulary would make your arguments clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while” and “because,” and you try to express cause and effect. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation often make the reader work to identify the intended meaning. For example, “doesn't effects to people” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “a option” and “can lead him” show article and pronoun agreement problems. Several sentences run on without clear punctuation, particularly the opening and the paragraph beginning “I strongly believe.” Break these into shorter sentences, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and use commas and full stops to mark complete ideas. This would make your varied structures more reliable.

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