Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, many tv programs provide continue to violent behaviour. While it is believed by a group of individuals that the fictional violence portryed on television is beneficial entertainment, others disagree with this statement and they agrue that it encourages violent behaviour. This essay will discuss both perspectives. before presenting my own opinion.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people believe that the violence program on television is not detrimental recreation. Initially, through watching violence portrayed people can enhance their awareness about crime, thief and eve-teasing. To give an example, many parents can teach their children do not involve any kinds of violent work. Additionally, many young people know violent behaviors are not better for their career. As a result, people do not find interest to engage in violent work therefore they do not think it is a harmful entertainment.
On the other hand, a substantial proportion of people say that it encourages violent behavioiur. To elaborate, some people, particularly students and younger people find more fascinated about violent portrayed. For instance, some developing countries involve in crime and thief by watching violent programs. Consequently, they feel more disappointed and sometimes they lose their family and broken their relationship from friends and relatives. Furthermore, children are very keen on violent behaviour when they watch violent propgrams on tv they try to copy them.
In conclusion, although fictional violence program on tv is not detrimental recreation because people can understand about its disadvantages and they can share its downsides with their children, I believe that it really encourages violent behaviour because the youth try to copy them and they find interests to do violent work.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You address both views and give a clear final opinion that fictional violence can encourage imitation, so the response is relevant to the question. The discussion of the opposing view is less convincing: the claim that programmes raise awareness of crime is followed by an example about parents teaching children, but the link between these points is not explained. Likewise, the argument that young viewers copy violent behaviour is relevant, yet the consequences involving damaged relationships are asserted rather than developed with a clear example. Your position is clearest in the conclusion, while the introduction says only that the essay will discuss both perspectives. Explain each main idea more fully and make your own view clear from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad progression. However, connections within paragraphs are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, “As a result” does not clearly follow from the claim that young people know violent behaviour is bad for their careers, and the relationship between crime awareness and parental teaching needs a clearer explanation. The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. Use linking phrases only where the logical relationship is clear, and develop each paragraph around a more consistent sequence of claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “crime,” and “copy,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “a substantial proportion.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make meaning less clear. Phrases such as “violent work,” “not detrimental recreation,” and “find more fascinated” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “crime, thief and eve-teasing” also combines items awkwardly. Spelling errors such as “portryed,” “agrue,” and “behavioiur” are noticeable. Build a more precise set of collocations for discussing media influence, such as “imitate violent acts” and “desensitise viewers,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in the conclusion and clauses introduced by “because” and “when.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation sometimes make the message difficult to follow. The opening sentence, “many tv programs provide continue to violent behaviour,” is not grammatically complete, while “people can teach their children do not involve” needs a correctly formed infinitive or clause. In “they lose their family and broken their relationship,” the verb forms do not match. The introduction also has an incorrect sentence break before “before presenting.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject and correctly formed verb.
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