Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In recent years fictional voilence has been increased significantly according to the different televison or media covers. Although some individuals think that this type of content on TV's portrayed as harmless entertainment while others, encourages voilent behaviour.

On the one hand, Voilent always scoialize as a negatively and there is no option to take for fun to be very specific for childrens and olders one. Because this genre spend almost time on it and watching different shows and perceive content from their. For example, harmful content such as fighting, velgarity or fictional violence can effect the person mental health and could disturb psychological way or mental state. As a result life can be more stressful and full of illness. they should try to consume harmless content which enhance thinking power and productivity rather then invest time on harmfull content.

Conversely, every civilians should have responsibility to overcome fictional voilent either offline or online. Voilence portrayed by social media either news so every individual has right and report to the authorities. Socities or government authorities can stop this harm content which portrayed just for entertainment purposes through some following rules. For instance, intelligence or cyber crime authorities should add efforts to report the overall civilization about the confidential content through city banners and concerned department because it can leads to be harmfull for all. In addtion, parents should always kept eye on their kids becuase now a days every kid spent almost their time on television so add password on 18+ content has less chances to get information.

In conclusion, either fictional voilent being portrayed as a entertainment responsible authorities should implement rule and introduce age group who can watch.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises the two positions and gives a general preference for controlling access to violent content, but it does not explain the harmless-entertainment view in a meaningful way. The opening mentions that some people see the content as harmless, yet the body paragraphs focus on its possible harms, reporting content, government rules and parental controls. These points are not consistently tied to the question of whether fictional violence encourages violent behaviour; for example, the discussion of psychological stress does not show how viewing might lead to violence. The conclusion offers a relevant recommendation about age groups, but the writer’s own view remains limited and is not clearly developed. To improve, explain both sides directly and support each with a specific reason or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “Conversely,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, the ideas do not progress clearly within the paragraphs. The first body paragraph moves from children and older people to mental health and productivity, while the second shifts among individual responsibility, authorities, banners and parental controls. Some links are unclear, and phrases such as “Because this genre spend almost time on it” do not show how the next idea follows. The contrast marker “Conversely” also introduces solutions rather than the opposing view. Group related points and use transitions that accurately express their relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “fictional violence,” “mental health,” “authorities,” “confidential content” and “18+ content.” However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make the message difficult to follow, such as “voilence,” “scoialize,” “velgarity” and “harmfull.” Some combinations are also unnatural or unclear, including “consume harmless content” and “report the overall civilization.” Repetition of “harmful” and “violent” further limits precision. Build accuracy with topic-specific phrases and check spelling, word forms and collocations. For example, distinguish “violent behaviour” from “violence portrayed on screen,” and use “report harmful content to the authorities” for a clearer expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “Although some individuals think…” and “because now a days every kid spent almost their time on television.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or faulty, and errors frequently obscure relationships between ideas. “Although some individuals think … while others, encourages…” is not a complete, well-formed contrast, while “Because this genre spend almost time on it” is a fragment with unclear structure. There are also recurring problems with agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries, as in “it can leads” and “parents should always kept eye.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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