Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about violance showed in television is nomaffective emtertainment.While some argue on this view and believe that it permote violent behavior.This essay will discuss both view before precenting my own perspective.However, I strongly believe that consuming violance content from tv is very disadvantag individuals mental heath and also rise the amount of lawbrakers in country.

One of the primary reason why watching voilence contant

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic and signals an opinion: “I strongly believe” that television violence is harmful. However, it does not meaningfully discuss both views or provide reasons and examples for either side. The opening briefly refers to people who consider it entertainment, but that position is not explained, and the opposing view is asserted rather than supported. The essay then stops after the incomplete phrase “One of the primary reason why watching voilence contant,” leaving the argument undeveloped. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, so it cannot demonstrate a developed answer to the task. To improve, explain each viewpoint in a separate paragraph, support claims with relevant examples, and conclude with a clear, reasoned opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph introduces the debate and previews an opinion, followed by the start of a body paragraph. Phrases such as “While some argue” and “This essay will discuss both view” show an effort to guide the reader. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the opening contains several ideas joined without clear sentence boundaries, and the body paragraph ends before its point is completed. The contrastive “However” is also awkwardly placed after the essay-plan statement. Develop a clear paragraph for each view, use linking expressions only where they show a genuine relationship, and ensure each paragraph has a complete central idea and supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behavior,” “consuming … content,” and “lawbrakers.” These choices show awareness of the subject, but spelling and word-choice problems frequently make the intended meaning difficult to recover: “violance,” “nomaffective,” “emtertainment,” “permote,” and “precenting” appear in the opening. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “violance showed in television” and “rise the amount of lawbrakers.” Build accuracy with common collocations such as “violence portrayed on television,” “encourage aggressive behaviour,” and “increase crime rates.” Proofread spelling carefully, and choose vocabulary that expresses a precise claim rather than relying on unclear or invented forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex opening with “While some argue …” and a sentence expressing a personal position, but control of sentence structure is inconsistent. “Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about …” is followed by a fragment beginning “While,” and “This essay will discuss both view before precenting my own perspective.However” has faulty punctuation and an unclear connection between clauses. The final line, “One of the primary reason why watching …,” is incomplete, so it does not form a grammatical sentence. There is some evidence of attempts at subordination, but the short sample does not show reliable control of complete sentences. Practise writing one complete main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation.

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