Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As technology, plays a very vital role in our society. Television is one them ,although it is a great invention and shows many aspects like usefull and harmfull too. But violation openly can put negitive impact on some people but some people learned from the it they should avoid this move. How it can destroys someones repurtation in society . But i think it totally depends on the pople.

But i personally , think violence on screen should be prohibited as childeren affected by these kind of activities.

Harmless Enterntainment.

In todays modren era people are aware of many living strandards. Violation always create a bad images in mind of eveybody. As adult with the kids enterntain them by this mode whernever, they expose to this kind of stuff .They learn and might be apply to aome other.However, people saw fighting, beating of each other or some time in movies the use of gun also shown. It leaves the impact on the yuoung youth as well. This is the reason wht people think as harmeless entainment.

Encourages Violences.

Some thinks againt to this. They thought that gain new tips or trcks how to tackle in some hurry situation. Or if somebody tries to harm them they can protect them by using the techniques.To some extend it is good for protection purpose.Espically in robbery cases.

In conclusion it totally depends on the people how they carry the information either they use it againt the wil power or benefiting themselves.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the two views and state a personal position: “I personally think violence on screen should be prohibited.” However, the discussion is only minimally developed and the views are not clearly matched to the headings. The paragraph titled “Harmless Entertainment” mainly argues that viewers, especially children, may imitate violence, which supports the harmful-effects view rather than harmless entertainment. The next section gives a possible protective benefit, but this is brief and does not fully explain the opposing view. Your conclusion says the effect depends on people, which also weakens the earlier firm position. The response is 2 words below the required minimum. Develop both sides with relevant examples and make your opinion consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, two labelled sections and a conclusion, so the reader can recognise the intended structure. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently within that structure: the “Harmless Entertainment” section describes harmful influence, while the “Encourages Violences” section presents a benefit of learning self-protection. Connections between points are often unclear, and transitions such as “However” and “This is the reason” do not reliably show the relationship between the ideas. Several sentences are fragments or loosely joined, making progression difficult to follow. Group each viewpoint under an accurate topic sentence, then use clear links to explain how each example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “violent behaviour,” “protect,” “techniques” and “robbery cases.” However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make the message difficult to read, for example “violation” where “violence” is intended, “harmeless entainment,” and “living strandards.” Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “use it againt the wil power” and “gain new tips or trcks.” These problems sometimes obscure your meaning rather than simply making the writing less precise. Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations carefully; prefer clear phrases such as “imitate aggressive behaviour” or “learn self-defence techniques.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You try to use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “although” and a conditional idea beginning “if somebody tries to harm them.” However, control is weak: errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms occur frequently. For example, “As technology, plays” is an incomplete and incorrectly punctuated opening, “Violation always create” has faulty subject–verb agreement, and “they should be apply” uses an incorrect verb form. The sentence “How it can destroys someones reputation” is also not formed as a complete, accurate question or statement. These errors often make relationships between ideas hard to understand. Practise complete sentences and check each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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