Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

firstly I want to discuss about fictional stories.Fictional story mean that the things which are to far from our real life incidents.Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment.others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.first of all,I want to disscuss about the people who agreed with ths that fictional violence does not harmless entertainment .May be they are true with their point of view because these fictional stories are not more than than the entertainment. These stories make our life good. These people thinks that these stories have not harmfull effect on our lives.

Now we disscuss the people who think that these fictional violence cause hamrfull affect on our live while watching on television.the people who sees these stories do the same action n their lives and caused the problems for people around them.These people ruin the life of many people.They think that these fictional violence can do in our real life.

From my point of view that these stories cause a problem in oue life while whatching on television. some people think that these things occur in our life but I don't think so .

In the past,I thought that a hero from anywhere come in my life and my life became very beautiful.I shall took everything which I wanted.But after sometime I realised that there is nothing to do in our life like that .Life is very complicated We should do everything for myslef with ourself.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You attempt to discuss both views and include a personal example, but the task is only partially addressed. The first view is presented as the belief that fictional violence is “not more than… entertainment,” while the opposing view is linked to people copying actions and harming others. However, these points are asserted rather than explained with clear reasons or relevant examples. Your own position is also difficult to follow: you say the stories cause problems, then add, “I don’t think so,” without clarifying what you reject. The personal story about expecting a hero to improve your life does not clearly demonstrate how televised violence affects behaviour. The response is 226 words, below the 250-word minimum; the 22 words copied from the prompt are excluded. Develop each view and state your opinion consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce the topic, discuss one view, move to the opposing view, and then give your opinion and personal experience. Transitions such as “first of all” and “Now we discuss” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and several ideas are repeated or left disconnected. For example, the claim that stories are entertainment is followed by “These stories make our life good” without explaining the link. The final personal example also shifts away from the question of violent behaviour. Use separate, focused paragraphs for each view and your opinion, and connect each claim to a reason or example. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow what “these things” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “fictional violence,” “entertainment,” “violent behaviour,” and “real life,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. There are also attempts to express effects, such as “harmful effect” and “cause a problem.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and often imprecise, which limits how clearly you can explain the arguments. Phrases such as “these fictional violence,” “make our life good,” and “do the same action” are not natural or sufficiently precise for this discussion. Spelling errors, including “disscuss,” “hamrfull,” and “whatching,” also reduce accuracy. Build a more varied set of expressions for describing influence, imitation, and possible harm, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “because these fictional stories are not more than than the entertainment” and the account beginning “In the past, I thought…”. This shows some effort to connect ideas, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “These people thinks” and “I shall took”; sentence patterns are also faulty in “these fictional violence cause…” and “the people who sees these stories do the same action.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation are often missing or inconsistent, and some sentences run together, as in “Life is very complicated We should…”. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, and use full stops to separate complete thoughts.

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