Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Fictional violance in television can pe taken as both positive as well as negative .People who think that fictional violence is harmful are correct to some instant but in some circumstances .If you take it seriously it can cause you harm but if you take it only as a source of entertainment it can help you relaxing and enjoying your time .And people who think that this fictional violence can cause a violent behaviour are also true according to my perspective because when I was a kid I used to watch WWE (a wrestling show) which used to be very entertaining .I used to watch it a lot ,Although it was a fictional show though I thought that it was real and after watching that I used to do same practice with my siblings on a bed although we were kids it could have harm us .thats the reason I think that fictional violence can cause harm as well as a source of entertainment and it is totally based on way of taking it as a perspective.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you say fictional violence can be entertaining, but your childhood experience with WWE shows how it may encourage imitation. This example is relevant and helps explain your concern. However, the discussion is brief and only partly developed. The view that it is harmless is asserted rather than supported with a clear reason or example, and the response does not fully explore the distinction between fictional content and real-world behaviour. The conclusion is also compressed into the final sentence. The response contains 177 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. Develop each side with a separate reason and supporting example, then state your opinion clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable order: it introduces the two positions, gives your childhood example, and ends with your view. The WWE anecdote provides a recognisable line of development. However, the whole answer is presented as one long paragraph, and several ideas are joined into an extended sentence with repeated use of “and,” “but,” and “although.” This makes the progression difficult to follow, especially around the shift from entertainment to imitation. Some linking is attempted, but connections such as “but in some circumstances” are incomplete or unclear. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and make each sentence express one main step in the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “fictional violence,” “source of entertainment,” and “violent behaviour.” The personal example also gives the response some specific language rather than relying entirely on general statements. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or spellings reduce precision, such as “violance,” “harmful” where the intended meaning appears to be “harmless,” and “same practice” for the actions you copied. Phrases such as “take it seriously” and “take it only as a source of entertainment” are understandable but repetitive and imprecise. Build a wider set of expressions for imitation, audience effects, and entertainment, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer structures, including a contrast with “but” and a relative clause in “which used to be very entertaining.” These show an effort to connect ideas, and the overall meaning can generally be understood. However, the response relies heavily on long, loosely joined sentences, and control becomes less reliable as clauses accumulate. For example, the sentence beginning “And people who think…” runs through several ideas without clear sentence boundaries; “although we were kids it could have harm us” also has an incorrect verb form and unclear clause structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including the lower-case “thats” and missing spaces after full stops. Practise shorter, accurately punctuated sentences before combining them.

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