Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

first of all fictional violance portrayed on television is harmless entertainment that some people said while others people disgree and think that its encourages violent behaviour .some people says that violancve on television are harmless entertainment its not entertainment its effect on our children and also effect of our mind when somwe people watch its violance its courage lass and also its heard and mind change snd thought that what occurs in television so next time its not intreast in to watch a television and the other people who think that violance are loss encourages and violant behaviour because its efffect on human mind its made human mind change its harmfull for society so violance its image of our country make bad image so my opiniopn is that violance are harmfull its effect of pour society also effect in our children mind in violance its effect on also education when violance occurs people not went oits children so children have uneducated leaves its effect on our society so our society7 image made bade occurs .its effect on our family ,its efect on friendship ,its effect on neibour. so thats why i said that violance effect ans its mnot harmless

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear overall opinion that fictional violence is harmful, and you mention possible effects on children, society, education, families and friendships. However, the discussion of the two views is only minimal: the claim that some people see it as harmless is repeated, but no reason is explained for why viewers might regard it as entertainment or distinguish fiction from real behaviour. Your opposing view is also asserted rather than supported with a specific example. The response is 199 words, below the required 250, which limits how fully you can address the task. Develop each side with a reason and an example, then explain why your own position is more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a recognisable attempt to move from the two views to your opinion, and phrases such as “while others” and “so that’s why” signal relationships between ideas. However, the response is presented as one long, largely unpunctuated sequence, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the discussion of each view from your conclusion. Ideas also repeat—particularly that violence affects society and children—without a clear progression or explanation of how one point leads to another. Organise the essay into separate paragraphs for the harmless-entertainment view, the harmful-effects view, and your opinion. Use a small number of clear linking expressions and make references such as “it” or “its” explicit so the connections are easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “human mind,” “society,” and “education,” so the topic is identifiable. However, the range is basic and highly repetitive: “effect” and “violence” recur many times, while several phrases are difficult to interpret, such as “its courage lass” and “uneducated leaves.” Spelling errors—including “violance,” “harmfull,” and “neibour”—also make the message less clear. Aim for more precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe violence as “influencing children’s behaviour” or say it may “normalise aggression,” then use alternatives such as “portrayal” and “depiction” to avoid repeating the same noun.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “while” and “because,” but most sentences are difficult to follow because clauses are joined without reliable sentence boundaries. Basic sentence patterns are often inaccurate: “some people says” has subject–verb disagreement, and “its effect on our children” does not form a complete sentence in its context. There are also frequent problems with articles, plurals, and verb forms, as in “violance on television are” and “people not went.” Punctuation is largely absent, making these grammatical problems more disruptive. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate conjunctions; check agreement, verb forms, and full stops in each sentence.

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