Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argu, that fictional violence portrayed on telvision is harmless entertainment. Som individuals believe that show the fictional violence are entertaining and safe because they are unreal and they entertain children also. However, some individuals cosider that non-real violence encourages violent behaviour in children because childrent see this things as a real world. From my point of view, fictional violence should not show on T.V because children also watchs T.V so this things creat negitive impace on children.

The key reasons behind believe of individuals that non-real voilances is harmells are unreal of charecter and no connection with real world. The most of anime are base on hypothical story and they does not have any connection with human world, so they make a fictional charecter too play that role. Due to unreal of charecter it does not creat a huge impace on humans.Futhermore the unreal thing assist adult for differencate between real world and fictional world. A 22 year old adult have idea, so he know the different between real world and fictional world. This thing does not creat any impact on them.

However, one major reason why individuals consider that is will lead to violent behaviour amoung humans is creat the bad impact on childern mind. Fictional world mostly seen by the childer, so watch a violence on T.V will creat a negative impact on them because children thinks that this things are real, they have no knowledge what is real and what not. Futhermore most of the fictiona movies use gun and other weapon to fight, so this also creat negative impact on children. the clear example of this we has seen in 1990. When shaktiman introduce in india, some of the puppiles jumped from the roof to fly like a shakteman. Due to this 11 children lost their life.

In conculsion some people belive that fictional things do not crat impact on real world and this are entertaining. However, other belive that fictional this also impact on the real world speacily on children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You discuss both views and give a clear personal position: you explain why fictional violence may be harmless for adults, then argue that it can negatively affect children. The example of children imitating Shaktiman gives your argument relevant support. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The harmless-entertainment view is mainly supported by saying fictional characters are unreal and adults can distinguish fiction from reality; this could be explained further, for example by discussing entertainment or the absence of real-world consequences. Your opinion that fictional violence should not be shown on television is also stronger than the reasoning provided, which focuses mostly on children. Clarifying whether you mean restrictions for children or a general ban would make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The contrast between the positions is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, though, cohesion is mechanical or unclear. Repeated references to “this thing” and “this things” make it difficult to identify exactly what is being discussed, while “The key reasons behind believe” does not clearly connect the paragraph to the view it explains. The conclusion repeats the two positions but does not restate your own opinion clearly. Use more precise referencing and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “weapons,” and “negative impact,” so the main ideas can be understood. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “differentiate between real world and fictional world.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable throughout and sometimes make the reader pause: examples include “telvision,” “harmells,” “voilances,” and “charecter.” Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “unreal of character” and “fictional things.” Aim to learn accurate forms of key topic words and use natural collocations, such as “distinguish fiction from reality” and “portray violence.” This would make your vocabulary more precise and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because” and “so,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms occur across the response. For example, “some individuals believe that show” lacks a clear subject and verb structure, while “children also watchs T.V” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Other examples include “they does not have” and “a 22 year old adult have idea.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “a fictional charecter too play that role” and the run-on spacing in “humans.Futhermore.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a correctly formed supporting clause, then check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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