Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I do not think that the fictional violence which is being potrayed in the television is a harmeful entertainment and should not encourage violent behaviour among every individual.

To begin with, an entertainment which is being displayed on the television, people should know, belived and see's it as an entertainmet and being displayed for amusement and not to create fobia and or to encourage violence in the society. withe such understanding it might not creat such mindset over some of our individuals.

Moreover, for people to be violence, i think is in their nature and also depends on how they were rased and not mainly describe what was displaye on the television. when a child is raise with love and respect, and there's love and respect among the family members, the children will grow to their adulthood with a normal behavior which dose not include violence as a result of what was being displayed on the television.Furthermore,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear view that fictional violence does not automatically encourage violent behaviour, and you offer relevant reasons, including family upbringing and the distinction between entertainment and real-life conduct. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not explain the opposing view that television violence may encourage aggression, and your own view is not developed with a specific example or fuller explanation. The final “Furthermore,” also leaves the response unfinished. The response is 157 words, below the required 250, which contributes to the limited coverage and development. To improve, discuss both perspectives, state your position clearly in an introduction and conclusion, and support each main point with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise ideas: “To begin with” introduces one reason, while “Moreover” signals another. The points about entertainment and family upbringing are broadly related to your position. However, the ideas are not arranged into a complete, coherent response: there is no developed discussion of the opposing view, no conclusion, and the text ends abruptly with “Furthermore,”. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the opening of the second paragraph, “an entertainment which is being displayed on the television, people should know…”. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the discussion, and your conclusion. Make the relationship between each claim and its explanation explicit, rather than relying on linking words alone.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “amusement,” and “family members,” so the reader can identify your general subject and position. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “potrayed,” “harmeful,” “fobia,” and “rased.” Some expressions are also unnatural, including “for people to be violence” and “grow to their adulthood.” Aim to use accurate topic-related phrases and check spelling carefully. For example, “violent behaviour” can be contrasted with “aggressive conduct,” and “what was displayed on television” is more natural than “what was displaye on the television.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “when a child is raise with love and respect… the children will grow…”. This shows an effort to connect causes and outcomes. However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation are frequent enough to make some sentences hard to follow. For instance, “an entertainment which is being displayed on the television, people should know” lacks a clear grammatical connection, while “a child is raise” and “what was being displayed” show problems with verb forms. The opening sentence also combines several ideas without a clear structure. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a complete main clause.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.