Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In most of nowdays films there is a fictional violence scene that can worry some people. some think that it is harmless cause everybody that watches it knows that it not real and it's just add some entertainement to the movie, that without it, it's can be boring, it's adds adrenaline and we want to know what will happen next and how the character will do in the situation. While other peaople think that it can encourages violent behavior and be dangerous for a certain categorie of people and that we don't need a scene like this for the movie to be interessting and we can focus on other plots.

I personally think that it is harmless for a lot of reasons. Some movies needs to have this type of scene that's why we watch them, it's for the suspens, the actions the surprise. it's true that some people are more sensible for these scenes but i think that everybody has to take responsibilities, if it's some chinldren taht watches them, parents should allow them and they should respect the age limites, if it's an unstable person that get inspired, it's not the fault of the movie, it's was already deep in them and they will do something sooner or later and unfurtunatelly we cannot do anything about it.

For exemple, i knew someone in high shcool who was beeing bulied and when she watched a movie about a person getting his revenge she wanted to do the same for her bullies but in reality she was planning on doing so a long time ago but once she arrive at school she realised that this is the real world and everything you do has consequences.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both views and state your own position clearly: you consider fictional violence entertaining and argue that viewers, especially parents, have responsibility for how it is watched. The example of a bullied schoolmate also relates to the concern that films may inspire imitation. However, the opposing view is only briefly presented, and your own argument that violence is harmless is not fully established; saying an unstable person would act “sooner or later” is a broad claim rather than a supported reason. The example is relevant but its connection to your conclusion is somewhat unclear. Develop both sides more evenly and explain how your example supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction presents both views, a second paragraph gives your opinion, and a final paragraph offers an example. This helps the reader follow the general direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track because several ideas are joined into very long sentences, particularly in the opening and the paragraph beginning “I personally think.” Linking is also repetitive, with frequent use of “and,” “but,” and “if.” The final example is not clearly tied back to the main argument. Use clearer sentence boundaries, organise each paragraph around one main point, and add a brief concluding statement that reinforces your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “adrenaline,” “age limits,” “revenge,” and “consequences,” so the reader can understand the subject and your example. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “a certain categorie of people,” “more sensible for these scenes,” and “it’s for the suspens.” Spelling errors are also noticeable, including “entertainement,” “interessting,” and “unfurtunatelly,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe viewers as “susceptible to violent content” and refer to “suspense and action.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer, complex sentences using clauses with “while,” “if,” and “when,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, these structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “everybody that watches it knows that it not real,” “it can encourages,” and “Some movies needs.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “it’s was already deep in them” and the long run-on sentences in the first two paragraphs. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement and verb forms during proofreading.

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