Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people believed that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment.Others disagree and believed that it encourages voilent behaviour. Therfore, in my opinion i strongly believed that fictional violence some people encourages violent behaviour.

On the one hand, some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television only entertainment,whereas violence movies very interstings for all the young people and childrens.By fictional violence more than creativity film and information film also harmless entartainment.As a result, some times it very denger for childrens and yonger lives.For example, horrer movies,theft movies and information or motivated movie they are useful some times of people.

On the other hand, others believed it is encourages violent behaviour ,this is because recent years most of the citys and village theft and kitnapping,murder increase day by day. Most of the night time unsafe for some areas, so that some bad people they are behaviours and idea gather in television show. As a result , people fear for fictional violence movie not only entertainment ,and also encourage violent behaviour.

In my opinion,i stronly believed this statemet for others, parants any time watched by thier child and yong age people.This is because,any time waching childrens what can do the activity and cheacking bag also.Some times childrean mobile phone using at the time very carefull handling of parants.As a result ,in my opinion that it people encourages violent activity.

In conclusion, some people believed that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment.Others disagree and believed that it encourages voilent behaviour.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic and state a position: you believe fictional violence can encourage violent behaviour. You also attempt to present both views, mentioning entertainment and creativity on one side and possible harmful effects on the other. However, the discussion is only minimally developed. The first view is difficult to distinguish from your own argument, and examples such as “horrer movies” and “theft movies” are listed without explaining how they support either view. The claims about theft, kidnapping and murder increasing are also not clearly linked to television violence. The response contains 220 words, so it is 30 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each side with a clear reason and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Your response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. These features give the reader a basic sense of the intended structure. However, ideas within paragraphs are not arranged in a consistently clear sequence, and connections between claims are often difficult to follow. For example, the first body paragraph moves from entertainment to creativity, then to danger for children, without explaining the relationship between these points. Linking phrases such as “As a result” are used, but the stated result does not always follow clearly from the preceding idea. The conclusion repeats the opening rather than bringing the discussion together. Use one main point per paragraph and connect each explanation and example explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “fictional violence,” “violent behaviour,” “entertainment,” and “motivated movie,” so the subject is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “voilent,” “denger,” “interstings,” and “kitnapping.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, including “more than creativity film” and “idea gather in television show.” These problems fit a limited, repetitive vocabulary range in which errors can strain the reader. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and collocations. For instance, distinguish “violent content” from “violent behaviour,” and use precise terms such as “crime dramas” or “imitate aggressive actions.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences and use basic connectors, including “whereas,” “because,” and “as a result.” Nevertheless, the range of sentence structures is very limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “some people believed … is,” “it is encourages,” and “some bad people they are behaviours.” Several sentences are fragments or have unclear relationships between clauses, which can distort meaning. Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “entertainment.Others” and “In my opinion,i.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check that each sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb, and use consistent tense when discussing general opinions.

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