Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To some extent it is believed that fictional violence shown on television is harmless entertainment .Others think that it facilitates violent behaviour.The essay is going to discuss the both views and give own opinion .

To begin with,nowadays people are in a rat race why they need more ways to be chilled.That is why they select television over any other sources to calm themselves.That said,there are different types of shows which are not appropriate to all of the ages as well as all of the people.Now and again,threre occur some disturbing scenes which cause mentally ill as videos have great impact on psycology.Some people start to act like those portraits and some commence to imagine like this .Again ,kids who are vulnerable become more weak mentally when they observe those .Moreover,adult people also get lost in some fancy world which they can not have in real world.Additionally,ill mannered people like hyjackers also follow the method of hyjacking goods from the programms.Another concerning matter is young people try to mimicre the act .

On the other hand,violence shows always do not encoorage to act weird or violent.It is strongly believed that,people who are psychologically strong would not be affected by the portraits.They do not like to be in imaginary world rather try to be realistic .So,which scene is seen on the television that are not displayable ,can not affect them.To add to it,they forget it before the starting of their worklife.Some other also eradicate it from the memory as they try to remain religious and focus on the religious works.Because,they think it is harmful to recall something that is contradictory to the religion.

By the way,for some personal instances it can be said that,fictional dreadful circumstances help to encourage people to be violent.Likewise,last year an incident was seen that a yung boy wacthed a scary movie and prankful scene why he got impacted and made it in mind to take revenge on friend exactly in the same way from the television.As a result ,his friend lost life.

All in all ,it is recomended not to watch this kind of videos as it is harmful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position, particularly in the final paragraph, where you argue that fictional violence can encourage imitation and describe a boy copying a scene. However, the discussion is uneven: the first view is presented mainly as a list of possible harms, while the opposing view relies on claims about psychologically strong or religious viewers rather than explaining why fictional violence may be harmless entertainment. The opening says the essay will discuss both views, but your own opinion is not clear until late in the response, and the conclusion simply recommends avoiding such videos. Develop each side with a clear reason and a relevant, carefully explained example, then state your position consistently from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has recognisable paragraphs for the introduction, two views, a personal example and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from stress relief to mental health, children, adults and hijacking without clearly connecting these points. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Additionally,” and “On the other hand” are used, but they do not always show the precise relationship between ideas; “By the way” is also unsuitable for introducing your opinion. Some references, such as “those” and “it,” are unclear. Group related points, use topic sentences, and make each example explicitly support the paragraph’s main claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “violent behaviour,” “vulnerable,” “mimic,” and “contradictory to the religion.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the argument hard to understand. For example, “rat race why they need more ways to be chilled” and “fancy world” do not express your intended ideas clearly, while “portraits” is not the right word for scenes or characters on television. Spelling errors such as “psycology,” “hyjackers,” and “recomended” are also noticeable. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling, word forms, and collocations; prefer clear phrases such as “relax after work” and “imitate violent acts.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “when” and “as,” but complex sentences are often faulty and errors occur throughout. For example, “people are in a rat race why they need” joins ideas without a correct grammatical link, and “which scene is seen … that are not displayable” has problems with clause structure and agreement. Articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “the both views,” “people … would not be affected,” and the run-on opening “entertainment .Others.” These errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected subordinate clause, then check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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