Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Television includes different kinds of entertainment for all, while some think of it as just entertainment others might consider it the norm or something that can be copied in real life.

If we talk about the violence, for some it is mere an enjoyment and watching it gives them the adraline rush while others think it has an affect on real life behaviours.

My personal opinion is that anything with violence must be age bound and should not be accessible to minors, since minors don't have the mental capacity to differentiate between real and reel so it affects them in harmful ways, its hard for their minds to process that its fake and should not be depicted in real life. Moreover, even some adults get overwhelmed with violence shown on televison, if it must be shown there should be a regulation to the extent of violence shown and the audiance it is accessible to.

Because even if it is not the truth some people with weak minds still think there must not be any harm in trying atleast once and that's where they fall into wrong, this encourages them more and alters their brains into thinking that they can easily copy whatever is being shown on television and that's hwo the cycle of never ending violence begins.

A personal life and a truly sad example is of one of my classfellows who died an untimely death at just an age of 15, while she went to enjoy her uncle's wedding one of her cousins got his hands on gun which the elders had kept for aerial firing, which is by the way another kind of violence very commonly showed on television in many countries, the cousin being just a 6 year old thought he would depict what he saw on television and put the gun her head and eventually pulled the trigger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear personal view: violence should be age-restricted and regulated, and you support this with the example of a child copying what he saw on television. This is relevant and memorable. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the argument that fictional violence can be harmless entertainment is only briefly mentioned through “mere an enjoyment” and an adrenaline rush; it is not explained or supported. The opposing view receives much more attention, and the personal example largely replaces broader discussion of how or when screen violence may encourage behaviour. Develop each side with a reason and an example, then make your conclusion explicitly compare them. This would make the response more complete and the position better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable progression from introducing the issue to stating your opinion and giving a supporting example. Connectors such as “Moreover” and “Because” show attempts to link ideas. However, the overall organisation is difficult to follow: the two views are not developed in separate, balanced sections, and the final paragraph becomes a long account without a clear concluding statement. Some links are also awkward or unclear, particularly the opening sentence and the standalone “Because” paragraph, which makes the relationship between the claim and the example less smooth. Use a clear introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Within paragraphs, make each sentence’s role explicit and use referencing and transitions consistently rather than relying on long chains of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “violent behaviour,” “mental capacity,” “regulation,” and “aerial firing,” and the example communicates the seriousness of the issue. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For instance, “mere an enjoyment,” “has an affect on real life behaviours,” and “weak minds” are not natural or precise expressions in this context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “adraline,” “televison,” “audiance,” and “hwo.” Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. The suggestions below offer alternatives that preserve your intended meaning while sounding more natural and specific.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “while,” “since,” and “even if.” However, complex sentences are often faulty or run together, and errors can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, the opening sentence joins two independent ideas with only a comma, while “its hard for their minds to process that its fake” has unclear pronoun reference and missing apostrophes. The long sentence beginning “A personal life and a truly sad example” contains several clauses that need clearer boundaries and punctuation. Practise separating complete ideas into sentences, using commas and conjunctions accurately, and checking articles, agreement, and possessives. Greater control of these patterns would make your argument easier to read.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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