Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people feel unreal domestic violence shows on television didnot impact in real life and people watch it as a fun whereas, other think it is motivating to people to do a violence in many ways. This essay will discussed both the views followed by my opinion.

To begin with, there are several reason of individuals watching beating as a fun. The first reason is mature mind. To explain, adults are mature enough to know that everything we watch on TV is not applied on real life and they are aware of the consquences that can happen after doing violence. Similarly, the another reason is legal action, Elaborating further, individuals have a knowledge of law where they can be punished, if they do negative things and hamper others life.

On the other hand, varios factors are there why watching violence is impacting in real life. Firstly, due to the worst mindset of people. To clarify, people want to beat and make other life difficult by blaming the media and TV to encourage them to hamper others life. Secondly, people do not have a empathy ans sympathy. Explaining it, people do not know how to value other decision and help in their need are the worthless people to deal with where they see their own perspective and ignores other feelings.

In conclusion, it is own the person hand to watch it as a entertainment or get a inspiration from it. Regarding my opinion, I think TV person should not make any serials, dramas that can disturb other person peace and individuals should follow only good things from serials and must not take a advice to do violence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a personal opinion, so the response is relevant to the task. The first body paragraph argues that mature viewers understand television is not real and fear legal consequences; the second suggests that some people may use media to justify violence. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The claim that people blame television is not explained with a clear example, and the point about lacking empathy is difficult to connect directly to fictional violence. Your opinion also shifts: you say it is up to individuals, but then argue that television producers should not make such programmes. Make your position consistent and support each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the broad structure. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated labels such as “To explain,” “Elaborating further,” and “Explaining it.” Some connections between ideas are also unclear: the discussion of empathy does not clearly show how television violence leads to violent behaviour. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its explanation explicit. The conclusion should also follow directly from the position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “legal action,” “mature,” “violence,” and “inspiration,” and you attempt to discuss the issue in different ways. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “unreal domestic violence shows,” “watching beating as a fun,” and “impacting in real life.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “didnot,” “consquences,” and “varios.” These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your point. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check that words combine naturally; for example, distinguish between “portray violence” and “encourage violent behaviour.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “To explain” and “where,” but complex structures are often faulty and errors occur frequently. Examples include “This essay will discussed,” “there are several reason,” and “the another reason,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement, and articles. In “individuals have a knowledge of law where they can be punished,” the clause structure is also difficult to follow. Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly the comma splice in the opening sentence and the capitalisation after “legal action.” Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for agreement and verb form.

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