Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people think that the fictional violence portrayed on television is harmless entertainment. Others disagree and think that it encourages violent behaviour.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The arguement that fictional violence depicted on television screens does not have any negative impact, while others argue that it encourages violent behaviour.

Early exposure to fictional violence can be detrimental to the younger consumers, hence there is need to put control measures on the audience of fictional violence. At a younger age children are still developing mentally, physically and emotionally. It is imparative that at the stage of develpoment people be cautios about what they expose children still in their development stage to, as this will help shape their develpoment. The impact of early introduction to violent acting can be seen early or it can start manifesting at a later stage of life. The developmental stage is delicate, if not carefull over exposure to violence will desensitise children as well as try to act it out in real time as they will know no better. At this stage it is important for them to consume character and informative television progarms that will help mold their characters.

That being said, past a certain age fictional violence does not have any influence on behaviour and adults just view these television programs as pure entertainment. Adult audiences will not be easily influenced by fictional movies. Furthermore they have the ability to know right from wrong. Consuming violent fictional films contributes to a lesser extent, solely putting the blame of violent behaviour on films does not hold any merit. A lot of contributing factors such as family support, friends and community one grows up in plays a major role in one's behaviour.

In conclusion, I believe that parental guidance should be put in place to control what young minds are exposed to, other than that violent behavior does not result from viewing violent television programs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You discuss both perspectives and make your own position clear: you argue that fictional violence may affect children, while adults are less likely to be influenced. The explanation of children’s development and possible desensitisation is relevant, and you also recognise that family, friends and community contribute to behaviour. However, the two views are not developed equally: the claim that adults are unaffected is asserted rather than supported with a specific reason or example, and the conclusion largely repeats the argument instead of weighing the views. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely why adults distinguish fiction from reality and include a relevant example or evidence for each side. Your position is clear, but some supporting ideas remain general or under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an opening, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The progression from children’s vulnerability to adults’ ability to distinguish right from wrong is easy to follow, and phrases such as “That being said” and “In conclusion” signal the stages of the argument. Some connections are less smooth, however. The opening is a sentence fragment, and the first body paragraph repeats the idea of children being in a “development stage” without adding much progression. The relationship between the claim that violence can influence children and the later claim that it does not influence adults could also be signposted more explicitly. Use clearer topic sentences and develop each paragraph through a reason followed by an example or consequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “detrimental,” “desensitise,” “parental guidance” and “contributing factors,” which helps express the topic and your position. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “solely putting the blame,” although this is not fully natural in context. Several spelling errors—“arguement,” “imparative,” “develpoment,” “cautios” and “progarms”—reduce accuracy. Some expressions are vague or awkward, including “violent acting,” “consume character and informative television programs” and “in real time.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. This adequate range communicates the main ideas, but more accurate and natural word choices would make the argument clearer and more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including the conditional “if not careful, overexposure to violence will…” and the contrast introduced by “That being said.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors and sentence-boundary problems limit control. The opening, “The argument that …, while others argue…,” is a fragment because it lacks a complete main clause. In “At a younger age children are still developing,” a comma after the introductory phrase would improve punctuation. There is also an agreement error in “factors … plays a major role,” where the plural subject requires “play.” Work on complete sentence construction, subject–verb agreement and punctuation, while continuing to use complex sentences with clear clause relationships.

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