Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries resulting from gun and knife crime in Great Britain from 1998 to 2007 and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Great Britain - Gun and Knife Crime statistics - 1998-2007
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The line chart givens information about the serious and slight injuries resulting from gun and knife crime in great Britain between 1998 to 2007.
BY having a cursory glance, it is vivid that, firstly, in [redacted phone] , the gun and crime statistics in fatal around 49%. After that, serious crime increased around 162% case . After words , slight injury 653% and total approximatly 864%. Further more, in [redacted phone] , the fatal crime statistics around 62 % . However , serious and slight were increased the number of crime around 933 %, and the total percentage 1195%. Moreover, in [redacted phone] , the gun and crime statistics were increased slightly and the total percentage had 1877 %.
Moving further ahead , it is lucid that, primarily, in [redacted phone] , the gun and crime rates were in fatal had 68% and the slight were 1862 and then the total percentage had 2367%. Along with this, in [redacted phone] , the crime rates were rapidly increased and reached at the total 3821%. Consequently , in [redacted phone] , only fatal crime rates show around 58% ,the there are were no crime rates other groups.
By giving general overview, in [redacted phone] show biggest gun and crime rates , while other such as [redacted phone] show lowest crime statistics.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately interpret the data provided. You have listed raw numbers and percentages in a fragmented way without identifying the main trends or making meaningful comparisons. The task requires a summary of the 'main features,' such as the overall growth trend or the disparity between injury types, rather than a chronological list of figures. Furthermore, the data interpretation is inconsistent; for example, you mention 'fatal' crime rates of 49% in 1998-1999, which does not align with the provided table. The response lacks a clear overview and fails to highlight the significant rise in total crime figures effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks logical progression. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Moving further ahead' and 'Consequently,' they are often used inappropriately or do not connect the ideas logically. The paragraphing is disjointed, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The information is presented as a list of statistics rather than a coherent analysis of the data. The referencing is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the development of the argument or the comparison of the data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. Phrases like 'vivid that' and 'lucid that' are misused in this context. There is significant repetition of basic terms such as 'crime rates' and 'statistics.' You also struggle with collocations, such as 'gun and crime statistics in fatal,' which is grammatically and lexically confusing. To improve, you need to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' or 'upward trend,' and ensure that your word choices are appropriate for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('givens information'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures ('the gun and crime statistics in fatal around 49%'). The use of punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in grammatical breakdown. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions to improve clarity.
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