Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries resulting from gun and knife crime in Great Britain from 1998 to 2007 and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Great Britain - Gun and Knife Crime statistics - 1998-2007
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The table illustrates the count of fatal ,serious as well as slight injuries, which were happened due to the usage of gun and knife as a crime in Great Britain between 1998 to 2007. Also it depicts the proportion increment for each degrees of injury over the years.
To begin with, 49 and 162 percentage of masses were injured through fatal and serious injuries from [redacted phone] , whereas this proportion incline to653 in case of slight injury in same years. At the end total; was 864% of all the cases. Moreover since 1999 to 2000 just 62% of people were witnessed with fatal injury but 933 folks seen injured by slight crime in Great Britain. Between 72% and 500 % of masses were noticed as injured during gun and knife attack in fatal as well as serious cases from 2000 to 2007 respectively.
Furthermore, the percentage of people injured with crime in slightly was 1066% in [redacted phone]% of folks injured in same case from 2004 to 2005 ,however, this percentage dropped to 3296 in 2006.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to accurately interpret the data provided in the table. The student confuses the raw numbers of injuries with percentages, leading to a misrepresentation of the statistics. For instance, the text claims '49 and 162 percentage of masses were injured', which is factually incorrect based on the provided table. The overview is missing, and the selection of data is disjointed, focusing on specific years without identifying the overall trends or significant comparisons required for a Task 1 response. The information is presented in a way that makes it difficult to understand the actual trends in gun and knife crime over the decade.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' is mechanical and often does not match the logical flow of the data being presented. Referencing is frequently unclear, and the transition between sentences is abrupt. The lack of a clear overview or summary makes it difficult for the reader to follow the intended narrative of the data. The structure is present but does not effectively support the information being conveyed.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and often misused. Phrases such as 'proportion increment', 'masses were injured', and 'folks seen injured' are unnatural and imprecise. There is a lack of academic register, and the student struggles to use appropriate terminology for describing statistical data. The repetition of basic words and the misuse of terms like 'proportion' instead of 'number' or 'percentage' significantly hinder the clarity of the report. The range is insufficient to convey the information accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('proportion incline to'), tense usage, and sentence structure ('3424% of folks injured in same case from 2004 to 2005 ,however, this percentage dropped to 3296 in 2006'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after periods and incorrect comma placement. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences that are often poorly constructed. These errors are pervasive and make the text difficult to read.
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