Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries resulting from gun and knife crime in Great Britain from 1998 to 2007 and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Great Britain - Gun and Knife Crime statistics - 1998-2007

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The tabular chart illustrates the number of fatal gun and knife crime in great britain from 1998 to 2007 :

In the year 1998 49 people suferred from fatal injuries whereas in the same year 162 citizens suffered from serious injuries whereas 653 indiviuals suffered from slight injuries on the other hand in total 864 citizens suffered from injuries,

During the next year, [redacted phone], 62 citizens suffered from fatal injuries whereas 200 indiviuals suffered from a serious injury on the other hand 933 people suffered from slight injuries during this year 1195 citizens faced an injury. whereas in 2000- 2001 meanwhile during the next year i.e; 2000- 2001 95 citizens suffered from fatal injuries

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement. Furthermore, the response is incomplete; it only covers the first few years of the data and fails to provide a summary of the main features or trends across the entire period. There is no overview provided, and the data selection is fragmented and repetitive. To improve, you must ensure you cover the entire timeframe provided in the prompt, include a clear overview of the main trends, and ensure the response meets the minimum length requirement to allow for a full development of the data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The text lacks logical organization and paragraphing. The sentences are strung together with repetitive use of 'whereas' and 'on the other hand,' which creates a mechanical and disjointed flow. There is no clear progression of ideas, and the lack of a proper introduction or concluding summary makes the text difficult to follow. To improve, you should group related data points together, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (such as 'in contrast,' 'subsequently,' or 'meanwhile'), and structure your response into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on key trends.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic phrases like 'suffered from' and 'citizens.' There are also issues with capitalization (e.g., 'great britain') and spelling (e.g., 'suferred,' 'indiviuals'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe statistical data effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology for describing trends and data, such as 'witnessed,' 'fluctuated,' 'a significant rise,' or 'a downward trend.' Focus on using accurate terminology related to crime statistics and ensure proper noun capitalization.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors, including issues with punctuation, run-on sentences, and inconsistent verb usage. The sentence structures are repetitive and lack complexity. For example, the use of 'whereas' is overused and often incorrectly placed, leading to awkward phrasing. There are also errors in date formatting and sentence boundaries. To improve, focus on using a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Pay closer attention to basic punctuation, such as using full stops to separate distinct ideas rather than relying on long, poorly connected clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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