Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The table shows the number of fatal, serious and slight injuries resulting from gun and knife crime in Great Britain from 1998 to 2007 and the percentage increase for each degree of injury over the period.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Great Britain - Gun and Knife Crime statistics - 1998-2007
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given data illustrates the number of fatal,serious and slight damages by gun and kniife crime in Great Britain between the years 1988 and 2007.
Overall,the total number of gun and knife crime steadily increased over the period given. Moreover,while the year [redacted phone] had the highest crime rate ,but in the next year it slightly decrease.
In [redacted phone] , the number of injuries started at only 864 . Over the next two to three years the fatal injuries dramatically shot up and reached the highest number of 80. In the next two years the year of [redacted phone] the slight crime rate rise up and reached the highest number which was 3424,and also that year the total crime rate reached its peak among all those years ,it was 3912.While the next year [redacted phone] the gun crime rate was the top all than other years which climed into 476 .
However,the highest crime rate was in the year of [redacted phone] which rapidly increased then the next year it slightly reduced.In percantage if we see around 8 year the fatal rate was 18,serious injuries were 194 and the slight injuries were 405 so in addition the total crime was 342.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the task by reporting several features from the table, such as the overall upward trend, the peak year of 2004-2005, and some specific injury figures like the 3424 slight injuries. However, the report suffers from inaccurate data reading and confusion regarding the categories. For instance, the student mistakes the fatal injury peak as 80 (which was actually the figure for 2002-2003, whereas the overall fatal maximum was 95) and misinterprets the percentage increase row at the bottom as actual annual data. While an overview is attempted, key trends are only partially and confusedly presented, reflecting a minimal approach to the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Paragraphing is attempted with a four-paragraph structure, but the information is not arranged coherently. Ideas jump disjointedly between years and injury types without a clear logical progression. Cohesive devices are used minimally and sometimes awkwardly, such as 'Moreover,while... but' and 'While the next year', which create grammatical and logical clutter. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow which year or category is being discussed. Overall, the organizational structure lacks clear links and standard academic flow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent slips in word choice and spelling, such as 'kniife', 'damages' instead of injuries, and 'climed' instead of climbed. The student attempts some less common phrasing, such as 'dramatically shot up' and 'reached its peak', but these are often combined with inaccuracies or awkward collocations like 'slight crime rate rise up'. Spelling and lexical errors occasionally cause strain for the reader, restricting the response to a minimally adequate lexical level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is limited, relying heavily on simple structures and faulty complex sentences. There are frequent punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas, and multiple grammatical inaccuracies, including tense inconsistencies and awkward clause combinations like 'while the year 2004-2005 had the highest crime rate ,but in the next year it slightly decrease.' These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a weak command of sentence structure and grammatical control.
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