Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Momentum Workout · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how a mechanical arm works, and how the joints that make up the arm function in the same way as those in a human arm. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

When i was in my elemtary grade, I would never forget how my teacher explains that machines makes our life easier. Just as shown in the diagram below it is a picture of hoow a machine operates, It was seemingly similar to our hands, shoulders and wrist. THe base of the machine seemed to be the baseline. Let us start with the shoulder and the wrist the human shoulder and wrist can be rotated up,down and side by side while comparing it to the mechanical arm it could be rotated 360 degrees so i think tha is the main difference while their similarity i think the mechanical elbow and human elbow does not have any diffreences they function equally the same,the grippers which controls the force, if i were to compare with the grip of a human arm the undoubtedly their difference is machine grip is far more stronger than the human arm.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response identifies a few relevant parts, including the base, shoulder, wrist, elbow and gripper, and attempts to compare the machine with a human arm. However, it only minimally fulfils the diagram-summary task: there is no clear overview of how the arm is controlled or how its parts work together, and the comparison is largely speculative. For example, the claim that the arm “could be rotated 360 degrees” is not stated in the diagram, while the assertion that the machine’s grip is stronger than a human’s is also unsupported. Important information is omitted, including the computer-controlled motors, the pivot’s role and the alternative end-effectors. Focus on accurately describing the labelled functions and give a concise overview before selecting key details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move from an introduction to details about the arm, and phrases such as “Just as shown” and “while comparing it” signal relationships between ideas. However, the response does not develop a clear sequence: it jumps from a personal memory to the base, then to the shoulder and wrist, and finally to the elbow and gripper. The long, loosely connected sentences make the comparisons difficult to follow, and there is no paragraphing to distinguish an overview from supporting details. Organise the report around the diagram’s structure—for example, introduce the control system and base, then describe the joints and end-effectors. Use clear sentence boundaries and linking words only where they show a precise relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “mechanical arm,” “base,” “shoulder,” “wrist,” “elbow” and “grippers,” so the reader can identify the subject. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or informal for an academic diagram report. “Picture of how a machine operates” is vague, and “baseline” does not accurately describe the base. The repeated use of “I think” and “Let us start” also makes the language conversational rather than objective. Spelling errors such as “elemtary,” “hoow” and “diffreences” are noticeable and can distract the reader. Use the diagram’s exact labels and more precise verbs such as “controls,” “rotates” and “enables movement.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex comparisons, particularly in the sentence beginning “while comparing it to the mechanical arm,” but these structures are often difficult to control. There are frequent problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation: the opening runs several ideas together, and the final comparison joins clauses with commas rather than separating them clearly. Agreement is also inconsistent, as in “machines makes” and “the mechanical elbow and human elbow does not.” Verb forms and articles need attention in “how my teacher explains” and “it is a picture.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate clauses and conjunctions; check subject–verb agreement and tense before finishing.

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