Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The charts below show the number of French adults whose parents spoke a French regional language to them when they were children and the number who speak a French regional language to their own children.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

Number of adults (in thousands) whose parents spoke a regional language to them in childhood

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar charts illustrate how the number of French youngsters whose parents spoke a French regional language to them when they were children and the number who speak a French regional language to their own children .

Overall, it can be clearly seen that there were considerable differences among the categories shown in the bar chart. While some categories recorded relatively high figures, others had considerably lower values. In addition, the highest and lowest figures were clearly noticeable, and the remaining categories showed moderate differences throughout the comparison.

There were three categories of languages such as Alsatian, Occitan, Breton, Creole, Corsican. and three graphs in first spoken habitually and second occasionally. In the first graph there were both Alsatian and Occitan recorded almost the same at 600. While Corsican was considerably lower compared to others at 180. The figure for Breton was almost twice as high as that for Creole.

In the second graph Occitan was relatively higher compared to others. and Creole and Corsican were moderate different compared to first graph. Clearly noticeable Alsatian was a decrease at 21.In third graph shown in a Alsatian was noticeable recorded higher figure at 400. While clearly noticeable Occitan was a decrease number of 250. Last three graphs were decreased gradually. All the information is presented in numerical form.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to accurately describe the provided data. The introduction is incomplete, ending abruptly. The body paragraphs struggle to identify the specific categories and trends presented in the charts. For instance, the student refers to 'three graphs' and 'third graph' without clearly linking these to the specific language groups or the distinction between 'habitually' and 'occasionally' spoken languages. The data points mentioned are often vague or incorrectly interpreted, making it difficult for the reader to understand the actual trends. To improve, you must clearly label the categories and focus on comparing the key features (highest/lowest) rather than listing numbers in a disjointed manner.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a logical flow. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the internal structure of the paragraphs is confusing. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often misused, such as 'In the first graph there were both Alsatian and Occitan recorded almost the same at 600.' The transition between ideas is abrupt, and the lack of clear referencing makes it hard to follow which data point is being discussed. The introduction is also grammatically incomplete, which disrupts the overall coherence of the report from the start.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'recorded relatively high figures' and 'clearly noticeable' are used frequently, which does not demonstrate a wide range of language. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'moderate different' instead of 'moderately different' and 'a decrease at 21' which is unclear. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'experienced a significant decline,' and avoid repeating the same sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with sentence fragments, such as the opening sentence which lacks a main verb, and incorrect punctuation, including misplaced periods within sentences (e.g., 'Corsican. and three graphs'). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, and the use of articles is often missing or incorrect. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for punctuation errors would significantly improve the clarity of your writing.

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