Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The charts below show the number of French adults whose parents spoke a French regional language to them when they were children and the number who speak a French regional language to their own children.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

Number of adults (in thousands) whose parents spoke a regional language to them in childhood

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar charts illustrates the number of French adults whose parents speak a French regional language to them when they were a children and the number who speak a french regional language to their own children

Overall, it can be observed that there were disccussed about the adults who speak the reginal language to their own children. there were also diccussed about the people who speak the regional language habitually and occasionally.

In the beginning,the alsatian,the 600 thousand adults who spoke their regional language habitually, but the 210 thousand adults whose parents spoke this language ocassionally. the 440 thousand adults who speak this language to their own children.Moreover, the adults who spoke the language Occitan habitually and ocassionally and speak their own children were at 610 thousand, 1.09 million and 250 thousand. While, the adults who spoke Breton habitually and ocassionally, who speak their own children were stand at 250 thousands , 400 thousands and 90 thousands.

Furthermore, with the Creole, the adults who spoke tis language habitually and ocassionally, who speak this language to their own children were attained at 100 thousands, 110 thousands and 80 thoousands. in conversly, with Crosican,the adults who spoke the Corscian habitually and ocassionally, who speak to their own children were reached at 70 thousands, 100 thousands and 50 thousands gradually.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to describe the charts, but it only addresses the task partially. While some data points are mentioned, the information is presented in a fragmented and confusing manner. The overview provided in the second paragraph is unclear and fails to properly summarise the main trends or significant features of the data. Furthermore, several figures are inaccurate or poorly communicated, such as stating that adults who spoke Occitan habitually, occasionally, and to their children were at '610 thousand, 1.09 million and 250 thousand' when the chart shows different breakdowns. The response relies heavily on a mechanical listing of data without offering a clear, overarching comparison between the generations. To improve, you need to step back and identify the main trends, select key data points accurately to support them, and write a coherent summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation in the essay, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The introduction is poorly structured with grammatical fragments, and the body paragraphs read like disconnected lists rather than a well-organised report. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or repetitively, such as starting multiple sentences with 'Furthermore,' or 'In the beginning,' which creates a mechanical feel. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed. To move to a higher band, you must ensure that sentences and paragraphs are linked logically with a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices, and that the report follows a clear structural progression from an introduction and overview to detailed body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and basic, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are several spelling and word-form errors, such as 'reginal' instead of 'regional', 'ocassionally', 'tis', and 'Crosican'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to the charts, but word choice and collocation are often inaccurate, such as 'attained at' or 'reached at... gradually'. To improve, you should focus on expanding your vocabulary range and ensuring accurate spelling and word formation. Pay attention to how verbs collocate with numbers and percentages, avoiding awkward phrasing like 'were attained at'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple or faultily constructed complex sentences. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty, such as missing verbs, incorrect verb tenses ('The bar charts illustrates'), and severe issues with sentence boundaries, as seen in 'In the beginning,the alsatian,the 600 thousand adults who spoke their regional language habitually, but the 210 thousand adults whose parents spoke this language ocassionally. the 440 thousand adults who speak this language to their own children.' Articles and plurals are also frequently mishandled. To achieve a higher band, you need to demonstrate greater control over basic sentence construction, ensure every sentence contains a main verb, and reduce the frequency of grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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