Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some societies, stress is now regarded as a major problem, and it is thought that people suffer from more stress than they did in the past. However, others feel that the amount of stress people have today is exaggerated. They say that previous generations were under more pressure, but the idea of suffering from stress did not exist.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

it is quite observed in today's generation that stress has become a major issue for them.They are unable to handle the tense circumstances around them in various cases such as unpredictibility about their future , relationships or any result of their acedmics.While number of individuals believe that there is not such thing as stress exist.Infact, the people of past used to have even more dangerous circumstnaces around them such as war , less facilities etc. Despite that , they were more mentally strong. This essay will discuss perspectives of both individuals.

People are more involved in stress now a days due to lack of guidance from parents.Each children is involved in social media , games and forceful studies.This creates a natural competetion among users.As a result , the victors who recieves unlimited praise lead other people into despair.That unwanted rivarly or desire to become a victor lead to depression.Hence , parents must realize their important role in guidng their children.They must tell their children to just enjoy the social media activites rather than taking it as a compitative burden.Inase of study,

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.0
Coherence and Cohesion4.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You introduce the topic and give relevant examples of pressures affecting young people, including uncertainty about the future, social media, competition and academic demands. However, the response only begins to discuss the view that stress is greater today; it does not explain the opposing view in a developed way or clearly state your own opinion. The final sentence, “Inase of study,” is unfinished, and there is no conclusion. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, so the discussion remains very limited. To improve, address both perspectives explicitly, state which one you agree with, and support each main point with a complete explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an identifiable opening followed by a paragraph about modern pressures, and linking expressions such as “As a result” and “Hence” show an attempt to connect cause and consequence. However, the response has no completed discussion of the second view or concluding paragraph, so overall progression is incomplete. Some connections are difficult to follow: the shift from social media to “the victors” and then to parental guidance is not fully explained. The paragraph also ends abruptly with “Inase of study,” which interrupts the flow. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, using clear topic sentences and links that show how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “major issue,” “guidance,” “competition,” “despair” and “depression,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions make parts harder to understand, such as “unpredictibility,” “acedmics,” “circumstnaces” and “compitative burden.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “the victors who recieves unlimited praise” and “desire to become a victor.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “academic uncertainty,” “social comparison” and “psychological pressure” would help you explain the causes and effects of stress more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence structures, for example, “As a result, the victors who recieves unlimited praise lead other people into despair,” and use cause-and-effect clauses. However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “Each children is involved,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “there is not such thing as stress exist,” which combines incompatible structures. The opening also contains run-on punctuation, while “This essay will discuss perspectives of both individuals” is not followed by a complete treatment of both views. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check agreement, articles, sentence boundaries and whether each sentence is complete.

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