Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries.

Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The increasing prevalence of different type of mass media in all over the globe and due to convinience in travelling outside of the country have enhaced the chances of having updates about what happening in others lives in other countires. Although it may be beneficial in some cases, I believe that its disadvantages outweigh its advantages primarily because of privacy voilation.

One of the most significant adavntage is that it has made life easier for people who are interested to obtain news about someone they follow such as any infleuncer or celebrity, they can easily have it. For example, on social media many infleuncers go live on for more than 3 to 4 hours just to update their fans about what has been happening in their life. Hence, this somehow gives people sense of entertainment and reason to stay connected with their audience.

Despite these advantages, ease in internation travel and various type of mass media are npt without its drawbacks. A major concern is the privacy voilation and crime rates which may rise with more advancement of the media. For example having huge access to people lives can make it easier for people to involve more in crimes like data leakage, robbery or even rape cases.

In conclusion, although convinience in travel and spread of mass media offer notable advantages,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, and you give relevant examples, such as influencers sharing personal updates and the risks of data leaks and crime. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the advantages are mainly framed as entertainment and following celebrities, while the disadvantages are asserted rather than explained in detail. The link between knowing how people live in other countries and risks such as robbery or rape is not made clear. The conclusion is unfinished, so it does not restate your judgement or bring the comparison to a close. The response is also below the required 250 words. Develop both sides with specific reasoning and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph on advantages, one on disadvantages, and a conclusion opening. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Hence,” and “Despite these advantages” help show relationships between points. However, progression is limited because each side is supported by only one main idea, and the final sentence stops before completing the conclusion. Some connections are also unclear: the move from greater access to people’s lives to robbery or rape needs an explanation. Build each body paragraph around a clear claim, then explain and illustrate it, and use the conclusion to summarise the comparison. This would make the organisation more complete and the links between ideas easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “mass media,” “privacy,” “data leakage,” and “audience,” and the reader can generally understand your main points. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “convinience,” “voilation,” “infleuncer,” and “enhaced.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “obtain news about someone they follow” and “have it,” which makes the meaning less fluent. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise terms when discussing the effects of international travel and media. Proofreading spelling and replacing vague expressions with specific wording would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although it may be beneficial…” and a contrast introduced by “Despite these advantages.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty or difficult to follow. For example, the opening sentence combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure, while “For example having huge access to people lives can make it easier for people to involve more in crimes” has problems with sentence punctuation, possessive form, and verb pattern. There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “different type” and “gives people sense.” Practise building shorter, controlled sentences first, then combine ideas using accurate clauses and punctuation.

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