Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries.

Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Before two years ago ,Ihad travel to Saudia- Aribia with my whole family . Basically we had travel through air it was my first experience to travel with my family because i am living in hostal.We had ejoy alot of. But there was too hot weather as Makkah is the hotest place when we went to Makkah for Hajj. We had alotof swetring because we were living in pakistan their is for seasons which change with thier time . The most important thing which i like most their was equilty between all peoples rich and poor all were living togather and eating the same food.And the second most important thing was that i was really enjoyed was that every person was just praying most of time.Their people mostly weareda long type shirt .They weared a piece of clothes on their head.Iwas really impressed by their culture and their government.The rule which was liked by me was that if anyone stole anything even he or she was rich or poor they must be punished. We stayed their for 30 days which were very memorable because of house of Allah.So, visit to any place is very enjoyable and information. That type of trip will be more beneficial. The advantage of that type off trips we get knowledge and information about their culture, laguage the way how they spend thier life .This thing also provide benefit to that state because they earn money from touriems. And people also gaet jobsfrom tourisms.The most important thing that government should provide is security which is very important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response gives relevant personal details about visiting Saudi Arabia and identifies possible benefits, including learning about another culture and language, earning tourism income, and creating jobs. However, it only minimally answers the central question: it does not clearly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and it gives almost no disadvantages or comparison. Much of the essay recounts the trip—such as the weather, Hajj, clothing, and rules—without explaining how these details support a balanced judgement about international travel and mass media. To improve, state your position directly in the introduction, discuss both advantages and disadvantages, and develop each point with a clear explanation or example linked to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from the travel experience to observations about culture and then to broader benefits, and phrases such as “the most important thing” and “So” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph, and the progression is difficult to follow because personal observations, general claims, and the conclusion are mixed together. Some links are unclear, as in the move from describing prayer and clothing to government rules, and repeated “and” connections do not show the relationship between points precisely. Use separate paragraphs for your position, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use clear transitions to show contrast and cause and effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “culture,” “government,” “security,” “jobs,” and “tourism,” and the personal account communicates several concrete observations. However, the range is basic and often repetitive, while frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms make parts difficult to read—for example, “ejoy,” “swetring,” “equilty,” and “touriems.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “information” for the benefits of travel and “the hotest place” as a broad description. Build a more accurate range for discussing the topic, including terms such as cultural awareness, local customs, media influence, and economic benefits. Check spelling and choose collocations that express your intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing relies mainly on simple statements, with a few attempts to join ideas using “because” and “which.” However, verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and punctuation are frequently inaccurate, and these errors sometimes make the meaning unclear. Examples include “Ihad travel,” “we had travel,” “I was really enjoyed,” and “which were very memorable,” where tense or clause structure is not controlled. There are also run-on sentences, such as the description of equality and people eating together, with little punctuation to separate ideas. Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences for the trip and present-tense sentences for general claims. Then use a small range of correctly punctuated complex sentences to explain reasons and contrasts.

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