Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries.
Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The wide excess of international travel and the increasing number of news media around the globe have made it possible to know about the lifestyles of other people who live in different countries.As a result, young generations are in the edge of forgetting their own cultures which can also affect our upcoming generations. Conversely, it helps us to enrich our knowledge. However, i believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
To begin, now it has become convenient for us to explore the cultures and traditions of foreign people. It is the best way to broadern our horizons. Apart from this, when we go abroad, it contributes to blend with them.
On the other hand, it has severe adverse effects on our own customs. The teenagers tend to follow Western cultures for everything from dresses to festivals. They don't even desire to learn about our roots from where we came. Therefore, our local identidies are going to be exticted soon. For instance, majority of the people celebrate 31srt night and 1srt of January in a grand way. Meanwhile, they do not show any interest to enjoy our Bengali new year which is known as Pahela Baishakh. Moreover, Bengali women are very comfortable in wearing jeans and tops. On the othe hand, they feel uneasy to wear sari which is our national dress. As a result, our forthcoming generations will not be able to learn anything from their older people.
To sum up, the international travel and mass media have made it possible to know more about around the current world which contributes to widen our wisdom. Nevertheless, this may have detrimental effects on own traditions which is explained in the aforementioned points of view. Thus, In my viewpoint, the drawbacks of this phenomenon outweigh the benefits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
Your position is clear from the introduction—“the disadvantages outweigh the advantages”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both sides: you mention broader horizons and cultural exchange, then develop concerns about young people adopting foreign customs. The examples of New Year celebrations and clothing make the cultural-loss argument relevant and specific. However, the advantages receive much less explanation than the disadvantages, and the claim that local identities will soon disappear is asserted rather than supported. The point about travel helping people “blend with them” also needs clarification. To strengthen the response, explain how international awareness benefits individuals or societies, then qualify and support the risks with clearer reasoning and evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding summary. Signposts such as “To begin,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the overall direction, and the examples are placed within the paragraph about cultural change. However, the benefits paragraph is brief and its ideas are not fully connected: the move from exploring cultures to blending with people needs explanation. Some transitions, including “Meanwhile,” do not clearly express the relationship between the examples, and the conclusion repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. Develop each paragraph around a clear central claim and use more precise links between reasons and examples.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “lifestyles,” “traditions,” “customs,” “adverse effects,” and “detrimental effects,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “broaden our horizons,” though the phrase is misspelled as “broadern.” Several inaccurate word choices or collocations reduce naturalness: “wide excess” does not fit the intended meaning, “in the edge of forgetting” is awkward, and “local identidies are going to be exticted” contains spelling errors and an unnatural expression. “Widen our wisdom” is also not idiomatic. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your ideas clearer and more precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “people who live in different countries” and a result clause beginning “As a result.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but grammatical control is uneven. For example, “it contributes to blend with them” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “which can also affect our upcoming generations” has an unclear reference. There are also errors in articles, agreement, and sentence punctuation, as in “majority of the people” and the missing space after “countries.” Capitalisation is inconsistent in “i” and “In my viewpoint.” Review verb patterns, article use, and sentence boundaries, then proofread for consistent punctuation and capital letters.
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