Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in the arts - music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.

Do you agree or disagree?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

These days In alot of countries there is a special attirude towards some people that they can do it as a result as a result some people become famous and wealthy insted of desrived one.

For me i completly agree with this statment because i live in a society that always do this type of thing this thing is not only related to the music, arts and acting but the the education system as well is i share my personal experience with you , it was when my younger brother was in class 5th, he was very talented and smart, it as an award cermony and my brother achived 3rd place in the class we were so happy the he he came 3rd later we found that there was as student in his class hs father very close the the school principle and he demaned that my sons marks should be increased and the prniciple did that and because of the my brother listed out from the postion and the kid came 2nd the the 2nd one got 3rd award we found this information from other teacher but we chose to stay

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and your brother’s school experience is relevant to the claim that genuine ability may be overlooked in favour of influence. However, the response addresses the arts question only partially: the example concerns school awards, and you do not explain how it relates to music, literature, acting or art. The argument is also unfinished; the final words, “we chose to stay,” leave the outcome unclear, and there is no developed conclusion. The response contains 192 words, so it is 58 words below the required minimum. To strengthen your response, explain your view directly in relation to fame and wealth in the arts, develop at least one relevant example, and complete the essay with a clear concluding statement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall direction: you introduce your agreement and then give a personal example. This helps the reader identify your main point. However, the response is presented as two long paragraphs, and the second contains many ideas joined together without clear sentence boundaries. Repetition such as “as a result as a result” and “this thing” makes the progression difficult to follow, while references such as “the kid” and “the 2nd one” are not always clear. The final sentence also stops before the story is resolved. Use separate paragraphs for your position, explanation and example, and connect each step with clear, accurate linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “famous,” “wealthy,” “talented,” and “education system,” and the personal example communicates the general idea of unfair recognition. However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors make the message harder to understand, such as “attirude,” “desrived,” “achived,” and “prniciple.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, including “stay towards some people that they can do it” and “listed out from the postion.” Choose precise expressions for the central issue—for example, whether recognition is based on ability or connections—and check spelling carefully. Avoid repeating vague words such as “thing” when a specific noun would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express a reason and a longer sequence of events, but sentence structures are very limited and frequent errors sometimes obscure the relationships between ideas. For example, “For me i completly agree with this statment because i live in a society that always do this type of thing” has problems with capitalisation, subject–verb agreement and sentence control. The account of the award ceremony runs on through several clauses, with missing or misplaced punctuation, and forms such as “he was in class 5th” and “my brother achived 3rd place” show difficulty with articles and sentence patterns. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate conjunctions. Check verb agreement, articles, capital letters and full stops during revision.

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