Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in the arts - music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.

Do you agree or disagree?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some countries, there is an attitude that anyone can do it in the arts,music and acting.As a result, people with no talents become famous and talent is not valuedNow adays, everbody wants to be successful in their lives.Some people become rich without any talents. There could be several reason of this,They maybe have strong background.There ancestors are well known in society,So they as well can become famous.And big companies really want them to work in their offices.

On other hand,people with a good talents become unsuccesful because in our society money has given more value then given to the talent.I have experienced many times that now adays money has given more value and talent is not appreciated.

In my opinion,it isn't a good think that we ignore talents and people with no talents become rich.We should treat everyone equally.There will be so much peace in treating everyone same.Everyone has right to earn money with talents.Our jobs and work shoulad be depended on experience and talents.Because everyone wants to earn money and enjoy their lives and everyone have right to earn good and enjoy their lives happily.There is no mistake of anyone that they are not rich by background,But they can become rich if they should be treated equally.We should value talents more then becoming rich and famous.Because talent will stay forever with them but money does'nt stay forever.So we should equally treat everyone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the general topic by arguing that people without talent can become famous while talented people are overlooked, and you give a personal observation about money being valued more than talent. However, your position on the exact question—whether you agree or disagree with the stated attitude—is not clearly established or consistently developed. The discussion of famous family backgrounds and companies is brief, and the essay does not explain how these examples show that genuine artistic talent is undervalued. The conclusion repeats that people should be treated equally but does not fully resolve the argument. The response is also below the required 250 words: 222 words, with 13 copied prompt words excluded. Develop a clear position and support it with specific, relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall shape: an opening, a paragraph about people becoming famous, a paragraph about talented people being unsuccessful, and a concluding opinion. This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: the claim about strong backgrounds moves quickly to ancestors and companies without explaining the links. Several ideas in the final paragraph repeat the same point about equal treatment and earning money rather than advancing the argument. Connectors such as “On other hand,” “So,” and repeated “Because” are used mechanically or awkwardly, and punctuation often runs sentences together. Use clearer paragraph development, explain how each example supports your position, and vary linking expressions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the broad topic, with relevant terms such as “famous,” “talent,” “background,” and “experience.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, particularly through repeated use of “talent,” “rich,” and “famous.” Several word choices and forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “a good talents,” “a good think,” and “money has given more value.” Spelling errors such as “unsuccesful” and “now adays” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main message, but they limit precision and fluency. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling, word forms, and natural collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences, including “There is no mistake of anyone that they are not rich by background, But they can become rich if they should be treated equally,” and you use basic clauses to express opinions and reasons. However, sentence structures are mostly simple or joined with “and” and “because,” so the range remains limited. Errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries are frequent: for example, “everyone have right” and “money has given more value” are not grammatically controlled, while “Because talent will stay forever…” is an incomplete sentence. Missing spaces and punctuation also make some sentences difficult to follow. Practise accurate complete sentences first, then add controlled complex structures using clauses such as “although” and “because.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.