Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in the arts - music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.

Do you agree or disagree?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In most parts of the world today,there is a believe that "anyone can make it" in the arts discipline.

Which results to talented people becoming wealthy and famous and genuinely talented people aren't recognized or appreciated.

In this essay will be agreeing that genuinely talented people arent well appreciated.

These talented should be allowed to show their work despite their situations of not being able to sponsor it,as a result of their financial situations,to be valued and appreciated rather than being hidden.

Despite the fact that untalented tend to make it faster as a result of having a level of financial stability, the real talents shouldn't be hidden.

In conclusion, there should be a space for this people with real talents and hardwork to show off their work,feel seen,be valued and appreciated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You take a position by saying you agree that genuinely talented people are not appreciated, and you identify financial barriers as one reason their work may remain unseen. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain clearly whether people without talent become famous, or why audiences and the arts industry may value them. The ideas about financial stability and giving talented artists space are relevant, but they are asserted rather than developed with examples or evidence. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, leaving little room to support your argument. To strengthen it, state your degree of agreement directly, discuss both sides of the claim, and develop each main point with a specific example and explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall shape: an opening, a statement of your position, a supporting point, and a conclusion. The repeated focus on talented people being hidden or unappreciated gives the response some unity. However, progression between ideas is limited, and the opening sentence beginning “Which results to” is a fragment rather than a clear continuation. The conclusion largely repeats the earlier point instead of drawing together developed reasons. Linking phrases such as “Despite the fact” and “as a result” are attempted, but the relationships between ideas are not always clear. Use separate paragraphs for your position and each reason, and make each paragraph advance the argument with a clear topic sentence and explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “arts,” “talented,” “financial stability,” and “valued and appreciated,” so the reader can identify your main concern. The range is limited, though, and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive. For example, “a believe” uses the wrong word form, “arts discipline” is an awkward collocation, and “make it faster” is vague in this context. Repeating “talented,” “valued,” and “appreciated” also restricts precision. Build a wider set of topic-specific terms, such as “creative ability,” “commercial success,” “recognition,” and “access to funding,” and check that phrases sound natural in context. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish artistic merit from fame and wealth.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes some attempts to connect clauses, as in “Despite the fact that untalented tend to make it faster as a result of having a level of financial stability.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors in sentence formation and punctuation sometimes make the argument harder to follow. “Which results to talented people becoming wealthy and famous” is a fragment, while “In this essay will be agreeing” lacks a clear subject and uses an awkward verb construction. Commas are also missing after introductory phrases and between several listed ideas. Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences first, then combine them with accurate subordinate clauses. Proofread for sentence boundaries, articles, and consistent punctuation.

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