Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the process for making a water clock.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below.

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN WATER CLOCK

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given diagram illustrate the process of designing water clock.

First of all we will tape a two bottle with stand in horizental direction and cut the neck of down one and do hole in the bottom of up one bottle as well as attach the straw at the neck, then put it under the tap and open the water to bottle and cover a hole of bottle with finger and fill the bottle until it reached to overflow and maintain the level of water constant with the straw, then we will take away a finger from hole as a result the water will flow to another bottle and then we will count a minute per level. we will repeat the same process when it got empty for accurate timing and that's how we will make our own water clock.

In first few attempts their will be mistakes but we should concentrate on it and correct it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to describe the seven stages of building a water clock, covering the general sequence from attaching the bottle to a stand to timing events. However, the tone and style are inappropriate for an academic report addressed to a university lecturer; instead of an objective description of the visual data, it reads like an instructional manual written in the first-person plural ("we will tape", "our own water clock"). Furthermore, the response includes unnecessary personal commentary at the end ("In first few attempts their will be mistakes"), which is irrelevant to Academic Task 1. Key features of the diagram, such as the calibration markings on the lower bottle and the exact setup of the overflow straw, are described rather simplistically or inaccurately. Therefore, it partially addresses the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers significantly from a lack of proper paragraphing, being presented as one long block of text followed by a brief concluding sentence. Cohesion is extremely basic and mechanical, relying almost entirely on a continuous chain of coordinating conjunctions and comma splices (e.g., "...and cut the neck... and do hole... and attach... then put it... and open... and cover... and fill..."). There is a complete absence of clear sentence boundaries and effective discourse markers to structure the stages logically. Progression is difficult to follow because multiple sequential steps are crammed into excessively long, run-on sentences without adequate pause or separation.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily dependent on the words visible in the prompt (e.g., "bottle", "stand", "straw", "tap", "water", "finger", "hole", "level"). There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as "do hole" instead of "make a hole" or "drill a hole", "up one bottle" instead of "upper bottle", and "down one" instead of "lower container". Less common lexical items are attempted with poor control, and the repetitive nature of the phrasing restricts the range significantly. Spelling errors also occur, such as "horizental" instead of "horizontal", which further limits the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting predominantly of a single, highly extended run-on sentence joined by commas and conjunctions rather than distinct simple and complex structures. There are frequent, systematic grammatical errors throughout the text, including article misuse ("tape a two bottle", "down one"), preposition errors ("at the neck" instead of "to the neck"), and subject-verb agreement issues ("their will be mistakes"). Punctuation is largely neglected, with major clauses run together without proper terminal punctuation. These frequent errors and the lack of structural variety frequently impede smooth reading and comprehension.

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