Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in few countries , it can be very difficult for the citizens under the age of 50 to provide the jobs .its a serious problem for the individual .the main causes is lake of economy and level of competition .this problems should be countroled if the government improve the taxes and provide the jobs on merit .

in the begning , a majority of the lower undevelopment countries also jobless because their statue did not provided the jobs ,they have low balance in the nation banks due to economic barrieh .secondly ,the individuals dont get the jobs ,because

the majority in poor country increased day by day every body want to get jobs and the compines ,firm and industries provide the vacanies to youngsters hence the old young .they replaced the old young the reason is education because youngsters gets degree in modern ere worid .to cite an example , a survey conducted by BBC in the year in pakistan , india , butan many people were fired due to old type degree.

furthermore, the main causes are solved if the government take action to inproved the taxes system in the poor country rich person like political and business man did not paid the taxes .secoundly , the state should provided the jobs on merit .the level of merit were high on educational based not aged .for instance, a famous newspaper reported about the merit base jobs in uk and japan they also prefer on merit or experience .

to concloude, young

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant causes, including economic difficulty, competition for vacancies, and employers favouring younger applicants with more recent education. You also suggest government action through tax reform and merit-based recruitment, so both causes and solutions are present. However, the response does not consistently address the specific problem of people over 50: the opening refers to people “under the age of 50,” and later references to “old young” make the group unclear. The solutions are also only briefly explained, and the conclusion is unfinished (“to concloude, young”), leaving your overall position unclear. Develop each cause and measure with a clear explanation and a relevant, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph about causes, a paragraph about solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “secondly,” “furthermore,” and “to cite an example” help signal relationships between points. However, progression is difficult to follow because several sentences are incomplete or loosely connected, and the final conclusion stops before expressing a complete idea. Some links are also unclear: the discussion moves from economic barriers to population growth and then to education without showing precisely how these points connect to older applicants. Use one clear main idea per paragraph, connect each explanation directly to the task, and finish with a complete summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to employment and policy, including “competition,” “vacancies,” “merit,” “taxes system,” and “experience.” These choices show an effort to discuss the topic rather than relying only on very basic terms. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices frequently make the meaning difficult to understand, as in “lake of economy,” “economic barrieh,” “old young,” and “merit base jobs.” Some expressions are also repetitive or imprecise, such as “provide the jobs.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, use “economic constraints,” “older workers,” and “create job opportunities” to express your ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure beginning “the reason is education because…”. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “the main causes is,” missing or incorrect articles and plurals in “the jobs” and “the compines,” and faulty verb forms in “the state should provided” and “the government take action to inproved.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several ideas joined into long, difficult-to-follow sentences. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, modal verb patterns (“should provide”), and complete sentence construction before adding more complex clauses.

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