Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, it is difficult for peopel who are over the age of 50 to get good jobs. I believe that it should causes a big problem but if the person over 50 does not have someone to support them then it can causes a problem.

The reason it can causes a problem is because if the person does not have anyone to support them then they won't have enought money to purcheas the goods they need and they will find it difficult to pay for their rent. Furthermore, as the company is looking for the young employee and young employee may not have enough expreances it can result, higher cost and the company will have to provide then with training so the young employee can improve. However, if there is not enough young employee nor the countory wan't to higher employees over the age of 50 then it may lead to higher unemployee rate.

This problem can be solve if the right action is taken. Firstly, the govenrment can increas the retiment age due to that even peopel over 50 can fine good jobes and that payes well. secoundly, the government can give fines to the company that is not hiring the employee over 50 As a result more people will get a good and well payed job. Lastly, then can provide unemployee benifit. As a result, even if the person over 50 they will have the money to offord the goods they need.

In conclution, i don't think it is a bit problem as it is difficult for the prople over 50 to work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both causes and possible measures, and your ideas about financial hardship, employers preferring younger staff, raising the retirement age, and providing unemployment benefits are relevant. However, the response only partially develops the task: the opening is unclear about whether this is a serious problem, and the conclusion says it is “not a bit problem” while also describing difficulty for older people. The causes are mostly presented as consequences, such as struggling to pay rent, rather than explaining why employers reject experienced applicants. The proposed fines are also asserted without explaining how they would work or whether they would be effective. Develop a clear position, explain the causes directly, and support each measure with a specific example or rationale.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about the problem, a paragraph of proposed measures, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Furthermore,” “Firstly,” and “Lastly” help signal the order of points. However, progression is not always clear because ideas are joined in ways that obscure their relationship. For example, the sentence beginning “However, if there is not enough young employee” is difficult to follow, and the opening repeats the idea of support without establishing a clear argument. The conclusion also conflicts with the discussion rather than bringing it together. Use one main idea per paragraph, make links between cause and consequence explicit, and ensure the final paragraph reflects your stated position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “training,” “retirement age,” “unemployment benefit,” and “well paid,” so the reader can identify the general subject of your ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, including “expreances,” “purcheas,” “govenrment,” and “unemployee.” Some phrases are also imprecise or unnatural, such as “it should causes a big problem” and “higher unemployee rate.” Aim to use accurate forms of key terms and more precise language for the causes and solutions. Proofreading for spelling and choosing standard collocations will make your meaning easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if the person does not have anyone to support them” and a clause beginning “as the company is looking for the young employee.” This shows some range, and the main message is generally recoverable. However, errors occur frequently in verb forms and sentence construction: “it should causes,” “it can causes,” and “This problem can be solve” do not use the correct verb forms. There are also problems with agreement and articles, as in “young employee may not have enough,” and punctuation is missing between some sentences. Practise forming modal verbs with the base verb, checking subject–verb agreement, and separating complete sentences clearly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.