Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · IELTS Complete Catalyst · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, it can be very difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience.

What do you think are the causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to solve it?

You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Getting excellent jobs for experienced people over the age of 50 is very hard in some nations. I am going to highlight some of the main causes for this issue like low energy to work and outdated knowledge of old people. Afterwhich some measures are given to address these causes.

Most the experienced old people are not much energetic to perform their daily tasks. They prefer to outsource their duties to the lower staff because of their lower energy level at such older age. This increases the cost for hiring new people at comapanies. So they prefer to hire young energetic indiviuals. For example, a 30 years of experienced doctor would like to pass on his tasks to junior doctors. He would see fewer patients as compared to a young energetic doctor. In order to address this issue older people are encouraged to actively engage in activites like yoga, gym and jogging. They will feel more energetic after those habits and resultantly more likely to perform thier own tasks themsleves.

Secondly, mostly old people do not like to upgrade their knowledge according to new technologies. So, they lag behind due to their rigid behavoir of not adapting to advanced researches. A study conducted in England supports this fact. For example, old doctors are rigid in their old clinical pratices. They feel very difficult to upgrade their work according to new advancements. In order to overcome this issue, workplaces should conduct educational sessions for such old experienced people. So they could feel confident in upgrading their knowledge.

In conclusion, outdated knowledge and low energy to work are the main causes of experienced people find difficult to get good work. These can be addressed by conducting educational sessions and encouraging gym activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it identifies low energy and outdated knowledge as causes, then proposes exercise and workplace education as measures. The examples about doctors help make the points relevant, and the conclusion restates the main ideas. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The claim that older workers outsource duties and thereby increase hiring costs needs clearer explanation, and the example of a doctor passing tasks to junior staff does not fully show why this prevents people over 50 from obtaining good jobs. The technology point is more directly connected to employability, but the reference to a study in England is not explained or supported. Develop the cause-and-solution links more explicitly and consider broader factors such as employer bias or recruitment practices.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs organised around separate causes and solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, with signposts such as “Secondly” and “In conclusion,” and each body paragraph generally keeps to one main topic. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and also shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, transitions can feel mechanical, particularly the repeated “In order to…” solution statements, while “Afterwhich” is an awkward link in the introduction. Some references are also unclear: “those habits” refers to several activities, and “this issue” could point to more than one preceding idea. Use a wider range of natural links and make references more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main ideas, including “outdated knowledge,” “new technologies,” “clinical practices,” and “educational sessions.” It also attempts more formal phrasing, such as “address this issue” and “overcome this issue.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “excellent jobs” and “good work” are vague, while “lower energy level” and “advanced researches” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “comapanies,” “indiviuals,” and “behavoir” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “secure suitable employment,” “reduced stamina,” and “recent advances,” and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “because” and “so,” and a relative clause in “a 30 years of experienced doctor would like to pass on his tasks.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “Most the experienced old people” is missing a determiner, “a 30 years of experienced doctor” has an incorrect noun phrase, and “These can be addressed” has an unclear plural reference to the causes. The sentence beginning “In conclusion” also needs a clearer structure: “are the main causes of experienced people find difficult” is not grammatically complete. Practise accurate noun phrases, articles, and clause construction, while retaining the sentence variety already attempted.

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